Unsuspected Abuser
by Elly-SVU-Fan
Summary: When our favourite member of the SVU squad starts to get abused both physically and mentally, by the one she thought she could trust, by the one that always had her back. Will all become right in the end?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: You know the wrap, nobody belongs to me, the all belong to Dick Wolf. Lucky sod!**

Also just a heads up, I'm still pretty knew to writing and I know this chapter is really slow but if I get even one good review I'll carry on and it will be more dramatic (promise)

**Chapter one**

**Olivia's point of view: **

Olivia walked into the squad room, it was cold and miserable outside, especially now the Christmas decorations were down, and everyone knew they had at least two months until the first hint of sunshine. It was 7:00am and it was dark outside, sirens and horns were already blaring out into the starless sky. As she walked into work this morning Liv had stopped by at her favourite coffee shop determined to start he day well, and so far she had succeeded. She walked into the welcoming warmth of the precinct and slumped into her soft desk chair, sighing as she plonked a steaming cup of coffee down on Elliot's desk. After a few remarks of false offence form both Fin and Munch about their lack of coffee, Liv settled down, feeling well rested and ready for anything.

She pulled up her computer screen and briefly glanced at her emails. One was from Melinda, regarding D.N.A evidence. Liv quickly checked to confirm what they already knew, that a suspect they had in questioning, was in fact the sick freak that had raped a prostitute because he though she wasn't a 'real person'. Glowing with the sense of pride and relief she always felt after catching another bad guy she glanced at the clock, wondering why it was 8:00am and there was still no sign of Elliot.

Suddenly her phone started to ring, bringing her out of her daydreams. She answered with the normal soft but curt "Benson" to reveal a sobbing girl on the other end, screaming that her boyfriend had dumped her and she wanted to press charges. After 30 minutes of explaining that being dumped isn't a crime, she finally told the over dramatic girl to stop wasting police time, just as El walked in.

She looked him up and down, he looked as though he hadn't slept in days, oddly enough he also reeked of beer, but she knew he was going through a difficult divorce, so apart from mentioning the coffee she had brought him was now stone cold (to which he replied with an angered grunt) she left him to it.

**Elliot's point of view:**

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN WE AINT HAVIN' SHARED CUSTODY OF THE KIDS?" Elliot roared down the phone. If he'd have been thinking straight he would have realised that Kathy was just angry and didn't mean it. Kathy would never do that to him, but Elliot Stabler was far from being in a good mood, or even thinking straight, especially today.

Elliot had decided late last night that it was a good idea to go and drown his sorrows until he could barely walk, he needed some escape from the horrors of his job, especially as he didn't have Kathy to vent to anymore. He sure was feeling the effects of his actions today though, especially after a bad nights sleep, missing his alarm, and not having enough time to shower.

He made his way into work where he was sure to get an earful from an angry Captain about being late with no good reason, but before he even got that far he had a whining Liv banging on in his ear about the fact that the coffee she had brought him was now freezing. Elliot grunted an angry "whatever" in response. He couldn't be bothered to deal with her today, and lately he had noticed how annoying and tiresome she was becoming.

Honestly? He was getting fed up of her crap.

**So yh please review, even with negative comments, once again I want to know if I'm wasting my time, or if this bunch of crap is actually okay! BYE (till the next chapter which will be uploaded soon)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

**Disclaimer: you know how it goes, no characters belong to me, they all belong to Dick wolf (wish he could share)**

**I know I promised more action in this chapter, but I thought a bit more drama would be better! I know what my next chapter is about though and it does involve action, but I won't say too much and spoil it.**

**Olivia's point of view.**

It was now a week since Elliot had come into work looking a mess. Liv had tried to be silently supportive, but she could tell Elliot had had enough of her pitied looks. She noticed that he seemed to be more focused and steady now anyway, so she decided to avoid the topic of his divorce, and keep him in a good mood.

As Olivia sat there thinking about this, a stressed looking Cragen come out of his office muttering about some kind of bullshit under his breath, behind him followed Tucker, the notorious asshole form I.A.B. Liv wondered why he was here, they had no cases at the moment, not that he would get involved anyway, unless one of the detectives was under investigation.

Tucker and Cragen came over to where Elliot and Olivia were working.

"El, can I speak to you for a sec in my office?" Cragen ordered softly

"Sure cap'n , but what's this about?" Elliot replied

"Not here" came the stern reply from Tucker

Liv listened closely to the conversation before the three men left to 'chat'. What the heck was it about? She pondered. Elliot hadn't done anything that could even be considered wrong recently. Apart from the one incident last week, when a man who they went on to find was innocent of a suspected rape, had got angry and went to hit Liv before Elliot had stepped in a ruffed him up a little. Even so, they were in the right, because even though the man was innocent he had still showed intent to harm a police officer.

The harsh "Thanks a lot!" From Elliot brought her from her thoughts, especially when she realised he was talking to her.

"What?" She breathed

"The suspect I roughed up is pressing charges, and it's all your fault!" Came his angry reply.

What the hell is he on about? She wondered. How on earth is any of this my fault? Liv thought he was being immature, because she knew that they were in the right and even Tucker couldn't piss them about this time.

"So how the fuck is it my fault!?" She argued, noticing she was starting to get angry.

"Cause stupid bitches like you can't do your jobs properly, and protect yourself!" He said, whispering so only she could here his nasty comment.

Liv didn't know what to say, for a start off, if she had actually been attacked she would have known what to do and how to protect herself, and secondly it wasn't her fault he was being told off, it was his, for showing off and being too macho. Instead of saying this though she walked of, her feelings hurt at what the thought of her.

**Elliot's point of view**

After an awkward interrogation from Tucker, Elliot was told his job was safe and that he was free to carry on his work, but he was pissed, very pissed. It want his fault he had to protect Olivia, just because she couldn't do her own job. And he was going to make that very clear to her.

"Thanks a lot" he raged at Olivia.

"What?" Came her innocent, butter wouldn't melt reply.

As if she didn't know. His hand was itching to fly up and slap her as he raged on.

"The suspect I roughed up is pressing charges, and it's all your fault!"

" How the fuck is it my fault!?" Olivia yelled at him.

Elliot got even more pissed at Olivia's attitude, how dare someone like her talk back at him. She was nowhere near a good a cop as him, however much she pretend to be.

"Cause stupid bitches like you can't do your jobs properly, and protect yourself!" He said, whispering so only she could here his nasty comment.

When he saw the hurt look in her eyes, it gave him a good feeling. He had put this bitch in her place and got the reaction he wanted. He was glad she was finally understanding who was in charge, and he was even more ecstatic to see her leave, knowing he had really got to her.

**Hoped you enjoyed it so far, the nest chapter should be up tomorrow. Please review! (even/especially with negative comments because I want to know where I'm going wrong!)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: no characters belong to me they all belong to the greedy Dick Wolf**

**I have tried to make this chapter longer as suggested and we are finally seeing some real action. Enjoy.**

**Chapter three **

**Olivia's point of view**

Olivia had recently started to notice Elliot trying to wind her up, it was silly things, like making everyone coffee but her, or brushing away her thoughts on a case like they didn't matter. Gradually, it was really starting to get to her, she missed the connection they had once had, and was trying everything to keep him happy. Although she didn't realise it she was starting to act like a victim in the first stages of abuse.

She walked into work one morning, hoping that Elliot wouldn't get angry with her today. Sitting down at her desk across from Elliot, she sighed quietly.

"Shut up" he growled, silently enough so only she could hear.

"Pardon? She questioned innocently, hoping he wouldn't come out with a mean comment again.

"Stop making those irritating noises , you're doing it on purpose. It's as if of you like winding me up. He snarled angrily

Olivia sat silently at her desk, almost afraid to move. After sitting like a statue for almost 15 minutes Cragen came out, ordering Liv and Elliot to make there way to an address in a quiet part of Manhattan. Following his orders both Liv and Elliot jumped up and made there way to the squad car and set out.

XXX

"Female, white. Her name is Louise Charnwood, 21 years old. Been dead around three hours. Her neighbour found her tied to the bed. Evidence of vaginal tearing with the cause of death being a deep laceration to the throat. Perp cut her up real bad" Melinda had rattled off to the detectives as soon as they arrived.

Olivia looked at the girl, she was so young, her room was filled with awards she had already won for her work in science. Her heart broke for the dreams this girl would never have the chance to fulfil. Elliot telling her they needed to go and talk to the neighbour was what pulled her from her senses, and she dragged her eyes away from the girl.

They walked up to the neighbours door and knocked loudly. Liv decided to let Elliot do the talking.

"Hi I'm detective Stabler, this is my partner Detective Benson, we need to ask you a few questions."

"Sure" replied the girl who couldn't have been more than 17

"Did you here or see, anyone or anything suspicious last night?" Elliot questioned

"Nope." Replied the girl.

"Did you know of anyone that disliked Miss Charnwood?"

"No sorry" sighed the girl

"Do you r..." Elliot started to say before he was interrupted

"Look Detective, I've had enough of these questions. Just leave me alone okay!?" Murmured the girl as she began to close the door. Quickly Olivia's hand shot up to stop the door from closing.

"We are just trying to help." Olivia said softly.

"Help! HELP? Do not patronise me detective! You people don't know the meaning of the word, all you police guys do is make promises you can't keep!" raged the girl before slamming the door.

Olivia just looked at El before turning to go back to the squad room, they walked down and out of the apartment building in complete silence. The atmosphere between the two was immense, Olivia noticed a feeling of unease when she realised she was walking with Elliot alone down an empty street. And she was right too.

Suddenly Elliot turned to her, his voice deep and angry as once again he said that it was _her_ fault that they now couldn't talk to their only witness, his eyes were cold as he started to taunt her with comments such as ' you're a lousy piece of shit, and a crappy detective' but what he said after finished his rant was what made her lose it...

"And by the way Liv _everybody_ hates you." Elliot grinned evilly at her

Olivia saw red, and before she knew what she was doing she had slapped him. Instantly she regretted. Elliot lunged at her and grabbed her screaming by the hair into a secluded alley. He threw he into the wall with such a force, she was sure she heard something crack. Then he was against her. His hand pushed against her windpipe, making it hard for her to breath. She knew she was armed, but she was terrified. She couldn't shoot him. Not Elliot...

...Elliot was screaming in her face, crushing her beneath him, she screamed, begging him to stop. All that got her was a blow to the face. It was only when she let out a whimpered

"El you're hurting me" that he released her sobbing to the ground.

**Elliot's point of view**

"El, you're hurting me" she whimpered in a weak voice.

That was what brought him back to his senses, the weak defiance of her voice tugged at his heart strings. He released her sobbing to the ground. When he saw that she was struggling to breath he remembered how he had crushed her windpipe when he held her to the wall. What the hell have I done? He thought. He looked at her. Blood was dripping down from a cut on her face. Her neck, arms and eye socket were already bruising from where he had gripped her, punched her. He hated himself for what he had done.

Slowly he lowered himself to her eye level and using his finger under her chin, he tried to get her to lift her head to look at him. He saw the look of fear in her eyes as she pushed herself away from him. It made him feel sick.

" Liv I'm so sorry..."

**so what do you guys think? Please review, even with negative comments I prefer people to tell me where I'm going wrong than them pretend to like my crap...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (not fair) **

**So a few people expressed they wanted to see Olivia fighting back, also Some people wanted to know why Elliot was being like this. I hope this chapter covereed everything, but if not please say so!**

**Olivia's point of view.**

After her beating, Liv had called Cragen, asking him for the rest of the day off. He said yes immediately when she told him something had come up. Liv slowly made her way back to her apartment and let herself in. She retaliated in shock when she saw her reflection in the mirror. The left side of her face was black and blue. Dried blood was smattered around her nose and mouth. Her eye was swelling already, so she grabbed some ice to put on it.

As she went around tending to her injuries she started to get angry. Really angry. Elliot has no right to do this to me, she fumed. As she stood there under a steaming shower she vowed to herself that she wasn't going to let him get away with it. Grabbed a jumper that covered her arms and neck, she applied some makeup to her eye, which thanks to the ice had gone down considerably, then she headed to the precinct.

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Liv walked into the precinct with her head held high. She ignored the questioning looks from her captain about her presence, and walked up to Elliot. Olivia watched him squirm beneath her glare, he seemed embarrassed, nervous even, but above all guilty. All she could think about was how cowardly he was being.

"Elliot, I need to speak with you now!" She ordered quietly, angrily.

Elliot stood up meekly and followed her to the crib in silence, away from prying eyes. When the door was shut behind them he grabbed her arm

"Liv! Are you okay? I'm so sorry, I swear to god I will never touch you again. Please forgive me?"

Olivia pulled away from his touch and looked at him in disgust

"You son of a bitch!" She yelled " you're lucky I haven't been to Cragen yet!"

Forcing herself to calm down she took a deep breath, before continuing.

"If you ever, ever touch me again" she seethed "I will personally take down your ass and shove it into the nearest cell I see. The only reason I haven't done so yet is because, unbelievably, you're a good cop, and if you lose your job it's your kids that will suffer, but, do not ever think I am doing this for you Elliot Sabler, cus' I swear to god if you ever even raise your voice to me again, that's it. And I mean it!"

Elliot just looked at her before saying "look I'm sorry, but you kinda asked for it."

Asked for it? Asked for it! She though. How dare he? None of this was her fault!

"THAT. IS .IT" she screamed "IM GOING TO CRAGEN!"

Before she had chance Elliot had grabbed her, he through her onto one of the hard cribs and held her arms down against her, his hand came up and slapped her hard, but this time she fought back. Olivia brought her knees up and used her weight to push him off her. The impact seemed to drag Elliot back to reality.

Olivia leapt away from him. Running to the door she yelled to him that he had gone to far this time, and she was going to have his badge and his freedom. Suddenly she was stopped in her tracks as she heard uncontrollable sobbing coming from behind her. Olivia turned to see it was Elliot. He was begging her to forgive him, he kept saying he was sorry. She didn't know why she said what she said next, but as she stood over the mess that was he partner she growled...

"Last chance Stabler."

Olivia turned on her heel and made her way into the squad room, not surprised at the fact that nobody had heard the commotion when she saw how busy the it was.

Elliot's point of view.

Elliot had never felt so guilty in his life. He was shocked when he saw a determined Liv walk into the squad room, and even more so when she ordered them to speak in private.

He listened to Olivia raging at him. Elliot could feel the anger rise inside him. Suddenly when Liv threatened his badge and freedom after told it was her fault, he felt something snap, and he did it again...

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He could feel her struggling beneath him, putting that bitch in her place he slapped her, but he was brought back to reality when a determined Liv overpowered him. He saw his life slip away as she headed to tell Cragen what he had done. So, he started to plead, guilt overwhelmed him as he begged her not to ruin his life. He shook been the he glare as she snarled ' last chance Stabler', he shook even more when he realised she meant it.

XXXX

After recovering, Elliot got up to leave. He left the precinct and headed to his favourite bar. He had been coming there every night for months now and only leaving after his money ran out and he was well and truly pissed. Deep down he knew he had a problem, he couldn't think straight without a beer in his hand. Most of the time at work he was drunk, but he had learnt how to hide it from his colleagues. He was always thinking about his next fix, his next drink, and if he wasn't drunk or drinking, he got angry...

Sadly this isn't the last we will see of Elliot's violent outburst :( please review, ESPECIALLY with criticism ( I like to know where I'm going wrong)


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nada. Absolute nothingness (bit jealous really)**

**Anyway this wasn't the chapter I had intended to put here but lots of people said that Olivia would have noticed his alcohol addiction, which is totally right (I feel dumb for forgetting) This chapters not that dramatic I know, but the next few chapter are the climax of the story, this is just the calm before the storm...**

**Chapter five **

**Olivia's point of view.**

Olivia had arrived at work early, she had some paperwork that she was behind on, and she desperately needed to catch up. Slowly people started to arrive. Cragen came in in first, not surprised when he saw Olivia hunched over her desk, scrawling away. Not long after, Munch and Fin arrived together. Olivia looked up at the two of them and couldn't help but make a sarcastic comment.

"Look at you two lovebirds, arriving together!"

Fin just glared at her, but Munch laughed and quick as ever replied,

"And you know what, he was the best lover I have ever had..."

Olivia, and Munch couldn't help but stifle their laughter, as a now very embarrassed Fin murmured something about working with a bunch of lunatics, with just a gleam of laughter in his eye. Olivia was glad she could laugh again, life was getting better, and she was determined to enjoy it. Slowly the laughter died down as everybody got on with their work. Olivia noticed that it was starting to get late, it was almost 10:00am, and Elliot still hadn't made an appearance. Munch and Fin were to engrossed in their work to notice, and it was a miracle that Cragen hadn't. This was a great start to the second chance she had given him, she thought sarcastically.

As she was thinking this, the lift pinged. Olivia watched annoyed, as a bedraggled Elliot stumbled out. Her eyes followed him stop and try to drag himself into sobriety. He half walked, half fell to the desk opposite her, luckily for him, everyone was to rushed to notice.

Olivia felt her heart sink, however much she had tried to deny it, she knew Elliot had had a problem for months. At first she had tried to push it off as lack of sleep, or stress due to his divorce, however eventually it had become to hard to ignore the ways his hands shook if he wasn't completely and utterly drunk. She noticed instead of heading in the direction of home each night, he always headed towards his favourite bar. His breath constantly sank of booze. Olivia knew by now that Cragen also had his suspicions. To be honest, the only reason that Olivia hadn't pressed charges over the abuse, is because she felt sorry for him. She had refused to believe that her best friend needed help. But after everything that had happened, she knew that by ignoring it, she wasn't helping him get better.

"You're drunk." she stated, not even looking up from her paperwork.

"What! No I'm not!" Elliot slurred back, trying to deny it.

"Yes Elliot. You are. You seriously think that with my past I wouldn't have noticed? The only reason I didn't really hand you in after everything you did is because, I knew it wasn't you, but the alcohol."

Elliot looked at her, this precious women that he had abused, and taken for granted, and even now she was trying to help him.

"I'm so sorry for everything" he slurred, sighing sadly.

"I know." she sighed back, before continuing "That's why I'm telling you to take the 8 months of holiday you have, get yourself into rehab, anger management, and if you refuse, I will tell Cap'n everything about the abuse. I'm trying to get you help Elliot, before you hurt someone you love, like me, again."

Elliot simply nodded, before writing a note explaining he was taking some time of work to be with his family. He asked Liv to hand it to the captain. Tears started to well up in her throat, she hated what El had done to her, but deep down she knew he loved her, just like her mother had...

**Elliot's point of view.**

Elliot couldn't bear what he had done to Olivia. Walking out of the precinct, he vowed to himself that he was going to get clean, if not for him, but for Liv. Anger at himself boiled through him, deep down he knew it was the alcohol. He didn't even feel his hand smash through his own car window, before he sunk to the ground, a sobbing mess...

After an agonising five minutes, Elliot stood up shakily. He left the parking lot, and checked himself into the nearest rehab...

**Sadly this is not the end of any violent attacks from Elliot, but I won't reveal too much. I hope you enjoy and please review, even with criticism, especially if it's harsh (I like harsh criticism, it tells me people are being honest about what I need to change)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own people... Still wish Mr Wolf would share though!**

**I have tried to improve on a few points mentioned in my reviews, and here is the drama promised...**

**Chapter six**

**Olivia's point of view**

It had been a month now since Elliot had left. Not even an hour after He had gone, Olivia had rung up the nearest rehabilitation centre to Elliot's house. After proving she was with the N.Y.P.D, the receptionist confirmed someone matching Olivia's description, under the name of Elliot Stabler had checked in. Knowing he was serious about his promise, and had taken the biggest step in his recovery, Olivia finally felt at peace.

The squad had felt different for the first week, but had eventually settled down after discovering that Elliot had plans to come back. They had been working on some tough cases, and had managed to covict two rapist. Munch and Fin were hot on the tail of a guy they suspected of raping a 15 year old. Olivia had been temporarily partnered with a rookie called Lisa Goldwell, and although inexperienced, Olivia could tell, that she was the kind of no nonsense detective, who always had her partners back. It was obvious that she had a good future ahead of her, she was feisty, determined, clear headed, but above all courageous. Liv couldn't help herself but liken these traits to Elliot's. A man who had once been her best friend, and although hotheaded, a brilliant detective.

Suddenly the phone next to Olivia started ringing, she picked it up and placed it to her ear, listening to the details coming from a medical examiner who had just processed a crime scene. She told Olivia that the victim had been taken to Mercy General, and that now was a good time to get over there. Olivia put the phone down and nodded to Lisa that they had a case. They both grabbed their coats and left.

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Olivia walked back into a empty, cold squad room. It was dark outside, and a glance at the clock told her it was almost eleven. She had dropped Lisa of at home, after they had been to tell the family of the seven year old, who they thought was safe at camp, had been raped, beaten, and had sadly passed away. The girls mother had started screaming, and the two detectives had excused themselves. Lisa had started crying, and Olivia just put her arms around her and stared into the dark emptiness of the night.

It had been tough, they had arrived expecting to see a traumatised, but perfectly healthy victim. They asked the nurse where they could find a Miss Keira Baxter, and they arrived just as they saw the young girl go into cardia arrest. There's was nothing they could do. The little girl died, and now just lay there, sleeping like an angel.

All of these thoughts started to traumatise Liv. She sat there with her head in her hands, and, knowing she was alone she stated to cry. Not much really got to her now, but anything that involved a child still broke her heart. She sat there crying for a while, before brushing away her tears, and starting the mountain of old paperwork. This was they only reason she had come back to the precinct, as she was really behind. She sighed and got to work.

Suddenly, the lift pinged. Liv ignored it until she heard her a voice behind her shout,

"Heey Livvia! How ya doing?

She looked around to see Elliot stumble towards her. 'Great' she thought to herself, ' he's drunk'. She stood up without saying a word and grabbed her things, leaving the paperwork until tomorrow. Knowing that he had failed her and himself, she decided she couldn't hide it anymore, it was now time to tell the squad and cap'n everything, but she wasn't going to put herself in this position, not tonight. As she turned to leave she heard a now angry Elliot shout out behind her,

"Wait! Stop where d'ya, where d'ya f...think you're goin'?"

"Home," she sighed, "tomorrow I'm going to tell Cragen everything that's happened, and get you some real help" she started to walk away when Elliot grabbed her.

"**NO! **No bitch you can't! It's your fault my wife left me! Your fault I'm in this mess! **And now you're gonna pay!" **He screamed.

Suddenly Elliot lunged at her. She tried to grab her gun, and cried out in frustration when she saw it on her desk. She ran to get it, but fell to the floor as Elliot kicked at the back of her knees. On the way down she hit her head on something. She tried to stand, but suddenly she felt dizziness flood throughout her. Elliot was going mad. His eyes empty of emotion but swirling with rage. He started to kick her. Punch her. She felt her arm crack. Blood poured from her nose. She screamed for help as he rained on her with dozens of blows. She felt her consciousness started to fade. Thump. She screamed out as he booted her stomach. Thump. And finally when she thought the attack was over and she managed to stand, he lunged at her with a chair, lifting her off her feet she flew into the window of Cragen's office, sliding down in a pool of blood...

... Thump.

**Elliot's point of view.**

Elliot had been stuck in this hellhole for almost a month now. He hadn't seen his kids, and he was going wild with boredom. But worst of all was the withdrawal, every night he was sick. He would sit rocking in a corner, shaking, desperate. So desperate that he even tried drinking the alcohol hand sanitiser. He couldn't cope. He couldn't breath. He was trapped in a world of sobriety, and it was all her fault.

Eventually he had found a way of getting what he needed. Alcohol. As he sat one night, drinking from the stash that was hidden in a slit in his mattress, he started to get angry. So angry that he decided in his drunk state that he was going to do something about it...

... He hadn't even noticed he was attacking her. Not till he saw her slumped, unconscious, in an ever growing pool of blood. Then he panicked, he didn't even call for help or check on his best friend, before he ran out into the freezing night, leaving her to fight for her life.

**So what do you guys think? Keep reading to see if she survives! Please review (especially if it's negative) I really want to know where I'm going wrong**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own absolute nada.**

**Hi, I noticed some people asking how Elliot got alcohol. I live in England, and here if you go into rehab voluntarily and aren't sectioned, you are still allowed accsess to the outside world, and although not recommended, you can leave. I don't know if it's different in America, I just thought I'd clear up my my mistake.**

**Chapter seven**

**Olivia's point of view**

This was it. She couldn't keep her eyes open, couldn't fight it any longer. She was cold. So cold.

**Cragen's point of view**

His alarm went of at 6:00am. "Shit" he breathed, he hadn't slept at all last night. He has tossed and turned, but couldn't shake of the felling that something was amiss. He got up, got dressed and headed for the precinct. It wasn't even 7:00am yet and the building looked deserted. It was beginning to get light as Cragen pulled himself away from the cold street and into the silent building.

He headed up to the squad room. Not hiding his shocked when he saw the state of it. Broken glass lay at his feet, and the place looked as though it had been ransacked. 'Son of a bitch' he thought 'what the hell happened?'. He looked around at the damage, knowing that the press would have a field day when they discovered a police building had been robbed and ransacked. He was just about to call in what had happened, when he notice something on the floor. He picked up the piece of glass, and as he had though it was covered in blood.

"What the hell!?" He said aloud.

To be honest he hadn't really entered the squad room, so as not to tamper with evidence, but now at the sight of blood he knew he had to investigate further. He walked over to a spot a few feet away from Olivia's desk. Suddenly he noticed there was blood everywhere. Too much blood. Cragen's heart started to race as he looked for a possible victim. Seeing nothing in the squad room he turned to look at his office. It was clear from the fact that his office was now missing a window that that was where the glass had come from.

Starting to sprint, he ran to the door. He didn't hesitate in pushing the door open. What he saw when he did, destroyed him. There lying in a pool of blood was Olivia.

"OLIVIA!" He screamed in despair.

He ran to her side and cradled her in his arms. It looked as though someone had thrown her at such force that she had gone through the window. She was breathing, but she felt icy to the touch. She was still bleeding heavily from a cut to both her head and neck. As he radioed through for help Cragen noticed that the already thready pulse he felt beneath his fingers had stopped. Completely. He was screaming at her to come back as he started to pump wildly on her chest...

**Munch's point of view.**

Munch strolled into the office at around 7:15, he whistled as the lift took him up to the squad room, but that quickly subsided when he saw the state is was in. Over his thoughts he heard Cragen in his office. He was screaming something. He was telling someone to hold on, to come back. Munch felt his heart rise in his throat as he entered Cragen's office to see him, on the floor above Olivia, doing CPR whilst tears streamed down his face.

Neither of the men said anything as Munch radioed through for a bus, to be told one had already been called and was just arriving now. Munch ran out of the office yelling to E.M.T's that she was in Cragen office. Olivia looked so weak and innocent, munch thought, so small. Both men watched as the E.M.T's took over, and then hugged when they saw the monitor confirm her heart was beating again.

Munch grabbed Olivia's hand as she was rushed away, with Cragen grabbing her other. By now both men had tears rolling down their cheeks. Each were silently praying for Olivia to be okay. Their hearts were shattered as once again she flat lined in the ambulance.

She was raced through the doors of Mercy general, still officially dead. Munch raced to go after her, and fought as a bunch of medics held him back, eventually he gave in and sank to the floor. He turned round to see Cragen, sitting in a chair with his head in his hands.

XXXX

It had been four hours. Fin had turned up, trying to hid his emotions, but failing. Then Casey and Alex arrived together. Nether of them even tried to hide their fears, as the held each other, crying silently. Melinda came and brought along Lisa, both sat, staring at nothing. Even Kathy had come. Oddly enough there was no sign of Elliot, even though munch left him a message.

Suddenly the door of the waiting room opened. Munch jumped to his feet along with Fin.

"How is she?" He pleaded.

The doctor looked at the sea of heartbroken faces before saying,

"She is in a very critical condition. As you know she coded twice before she got here, and she also coded again 2 hours ago. She has lost a lot of blood, and could potentially have brain damage due to the lack of oxygen. The next 12 hours are crucial."

"But will she survive?" Begged Munch, before anyone else had the chance to ask the question on everybody's mind.

"I don't know." Replied the doctor...

**Sorry if you wanted to know if Liv was okay, I guess you will just have to keep reading. Please review! Especially, as I have said before, with criticism as it helps to know where I am going wrong.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but Lisa and Doctor Cracknell.**

**Just a heads up I'm so sorry (LOL)**

**Chapter eight **

**Fin's point of view.**

It had been a long night. The whole squad hadn't left the hospital in 24 hours. Some had tried to get an hour or so of restless sleep before giving in. Fin, like Munch and Cragen had just sat there. Waiting. Hoping for an update. Occasionally a nurse had come in, and you could feel the hope rise in the room, then sink when they were told that Olivia was still critical, and that they still didn't know if she was going to make it.

**Melinda's point of view.**

She couldn't believe what had happened. Liv was the strongest person she knew. She had saved her life once. All Melinda felt was guilt at the fact that she wasn't there to do the same.

**Alex's point of view.**

Alex felt drowned in a mix of emotions. One minute she was crying internally, and then the tears would then turn to screams at the beast that had done this to her best friend. She vowed to herself there and then, that when the bastard was caught she would fight go the death to make sure he never went free.

**Munch's point of view**

Why her? Why Olivia? What had she done to deserve any of this?

**Casey's point of view.**

Cragen had rang her this morning one her cell. When she answered she was expecting him to tell her to get her ass over to the squad room regarding a case. What he had actually said, reduced her immediately to tears as she sunk to the floor.

After the initial shock she had made her way straight to the hospital. Upon arriving Fin had told her what had happened, how Liv had been found, how she had likely been lying there, cold, all night. She didn't really remember anything after that. All she knew was that her best friend, her sister, was fighting for her life, and she couldn't do anything about it until the sick son of a bitch that did this to Olivia was caught. She knew that when the time came, she would team up with Alex, and fight like crazy to throw the freak in jail. No matter who he was.

**Cragen's point of view.**

Cragen was starting to get suspicious. He had tried every method to get in contact with Elliot, even contacting Kathy, but no such luck. Both Olivia and Elliot had been foolish to think that Cragen hadn't seen what was going on with Elliot, but he had decided to give him a break when he discovered he was 'taking time off'.

His mind began to wonder, he knew the perp would have had to have been someone well known to security, for them to be let in so easily late at night. Cragen also knew it would have had to have been someone Olivia knew, because it was clear that she hadn't fought back immediately. He shook as the next thought crossed his mind. It couldn't have been El, could it?

Suddenly Olivia's doctor walked in, pulling Cragen from his thoughts. She introduced herself before saying...

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing more we can do..."

Cragen didn't hear the end of the doctors sentence before he blacked out.

**So what do you guys think? Please keep reading, as all is not as it seems, but I won't reveal to much. PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW. Especially with criticism. And don't worry I know you guys hate me now. **?


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nobody but my own people**

**This chapters a little slow but anyway I hope you enjoy! Also a few people said they are fed up with the point of view thing so I tried to change it.**

**Chapter eight**

Suddenly Olivia's doctor walked in, pulling Cragen from his thoughts. She introduced herself before saying...

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing more we can do..."

Cragen didn't hear the end of the doctors sentence before he blacked out.

**Chapter nine **

The doctor looked flustered, she had appeared embarrassed when, not only a distinguished Captain but also a well know ADA had passed out. Around the room emotions were starting to show. Both Melinda and Lisa had begun to cry. Fin sat there staring. It was Munch who helped Cragen and Casey, but his hands shook all the same. Only Alex saw what was going on. She recognised the signs of someone who had just mad a huge mistake. All doctors, even a rookie like her, would appear sympathetic when telling loved ones a family member had passed away. Yet, the young doctor before her seemed about to cry, red flushed her cheeks, and sweat from the embarrassment ran down her face.

"What do you mean when you say there's nothing more you can do?" Alex questioned, she had seen professionals fuck up like this before, no surprise in her job.

"I... I... I didn't... Mean..." Stuttered doctor Cracknell

"For god damn sake spit it out!" Ales seethed

"I... I meant there's nothing more we can do for M... Miss Benson here. She needs to be flown to Washington, it's the only place with the equipment that can save her life"

The whole group apart from Cragen who was still out of it, turned to the doctor, their emotions ranged from blind fury towards this incompetent doctor, to sheer relief. Olivia wasn't out of the woods yet, but she was going to be okay.

"I swear to god I am gonna sue your ass off!" A pissed Alex shouted At the doctor.

"I'll second that" screamed Casey, even though she had been out of it for a few seconds just a minute ago, she felt the same anger Alex did.

Melinda had stopped crying, she was now comforting Lisa, being the doctor she is, it was her that first asked

"What does the operation entail?"

The doctor who had gathered herself together slightly replied,

"She will be flown by helicopter to Washington, one of you can go with her. When she arrives she will be taken to surgery. The operation will be about 11 hours long, and it will be to repair both a damaged artery, but most importantly a bleed to the brain. Her prospects look hopeful, she has a 93% chance of surviving."

The doctor left. Along with the promise of a court summons, and then, minus a Cragen who was being treated for minor shock, the squad smiled at one another, their hearts just a little lighter.

XXXX

Fin and Casey where the first thing Cragen saw when he woke up.

"Son of a bitch" he started " who put rocks in my head"

Casey a Fin just laughed at Cragen, they where going to have a field day about the fact that he had wussed out on them when everything was back to normal. Suddenly they saw the realisation appear on Cragen face as he remembered everything.

"Relax cap'n, Liv's gonna be fine" Fin stated.

They went on to explain about the doctors fuck up to a confused Cragen. Yet all he could think about was the fact that, considering her next of kin Elliot, was know here to be seen, he was the one who would have had to make the decision to turn of the life support machine.

XXXX

It had been three days since they were told that Olivia was going to be fine. So far none of them had seen her yet, but now Alex, who was Olivia's new next of kin was boarding the helicopter with her. As Cragen watched the helicopter rise he got a phone call.

"Hello is this Captain Cragen of SVU?" He unknown caller asked.

"Speaking" replied Cragen

"I have the D.N.A that came from under Detective Bensons fingernails, when she fought against your perp, even better there is a match in the system."

"Well, who is it?" Said Cragen, getting annoyed.

"Belons to a Mr. Elliot Stabler." Came back the reply

Cragen hung up, he couldn't quite believe it, but now he had the proof, he was going to find stabler, and serve his ass to a judge.

**I know a few people are gonna think the whole doctor scenario is totally unrealistic but I warn you it's not. The exact same thing happend to my mum ( I'm british but for all the Americans 'mom') I also read a similar real life story in a magazine! Keep reading and I'm gonnaa ask for reviews even though some people think it's childish and a bit of a beg**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: nothing belongs to me except my own people.**

Chapter 10

Alex clutched Olivia's hand tightly. She had been shocked when she had seen her best friend. Olivia's body had tubes coming out from every angle, so much so that Alex could only get to one hand. A tube in her mouth was breathing for her. Alex watched the machine that measured Olivia's heart beat, the gentle rise and fall of her chest was the only thing that told Alex that she was still alive. Her eyes drifted up to her head. A smattering of bruises covered the left side of her face, but they didn't hide the fact that Olivia appeared so much older. Alex felt the tears rise in her throat as she looked at Olivia's hair. Olivia now had a patch to the left of her head, that had been shaved clean, and now an ugly scar replaced it from where doctors had drained it once. The rest of her hair, although still brown, was dull and lifeless. Apart from her eyes, which you couldn't see, Olivia Benson had lost what had made her Olivia Benson, she had lost her inner beauty.

Alex looked out over New York, already they were hundreds of feet up, just minutes after take off. The sky above her was streaked with red and gold as dusk settled around them. She saw miniature people playing and laughing in Central Park. Times Square was packed with excited tourists. It was made all the more blissful by the fact that apart from the hum of the helicopter dimmed by her headphones, Alex could hear nothing. Complete and utter Nothing. It was serene, tranquil, and Alex could almost enjoy it, if not for the heaviness of her heart. For once in her life Alex realised something, in the early evening dusk of the evening, with wind blowing her hair gently, New York looked beautiful...

Meanwhile, on the ground all hell was breaking loose. Cragen had gone ballistic when his only mere suspicions had come true. It took a moment of Munch trying to reason with him to calm down, ending with Casey getting bored and slapping him.

"What the hell are you withering on about?" She had yelled.

Cragen had felt his heart grow heavy. It was his duty to tell his squad that the person they thought Olivia was safe with, had been the one to make her a victim. He looked around at his squad, his friends, then sighed. He didn't think he could do this.

"It was El" he whispered

"I'm sorry? You can't be serious? Where's your proof? Casey cried, but deep down her heart had broken.

"I... I think he was an alcoholic, I'm not sure. With everything that's come to light I suspect he may have been abusing Olivia for a while." Cragen stated

He looked around him, Munch looked surprised, but not shocked, and beneath his reaction Cragen see anger and pain, mostly pain. Looking at Fin he could see something was wrong,his face was contorted in anger and frustration, he couldn't stop himself from throwing a fist into the wall, Cragen didn't even try to stop him. Casey, well Casey just looked pissed.

Cragen wasn't sure what he felt, but after remembering the brief glance at Olivia, his daughter near enough, just before going onto the airplane, he knew.

"Let's catch this son of a bitch, now."

XXXX

The flight had ended quickly and Alex was almost sad, she clutched Olivia's hand until a nurse had prised it away to take her to theatre. Alex watched her friend being wheeled away and then she waited. 10 hours later Fin, Munch, And Cragen arrived. They had been unable to track Elliot's cell, Kathy had no idea where he was, and all his credit cards had been cancelled. An hour later a nurse came into tell them that Olivia had been taken to recovery. Finally the next day, after a mere few hours of sleep a doctor appeared.

"She's awake, you can see her now but don't stress her out. ICU room 294"

After a mumbled thanks the small group made there way up. Knocking on the door they pushed it open. In bed lay a weak but determined Olivia. That familiar spark in her eyes.

"Hey" she whispered.

**REALLY sorry I haven't posted in a while, I have been camping in the middle of a field with no internet, updates will be daily now. Please keep reading, from now on its about Olivia's recovery and hunting Elliot... R&amp;R**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own nothing **

**Chapter 11**

"No" she breathed, "**NO**, please, Please stop."

She couldn't do anything to stop him, it was like she was stuck behind a window watching everything. Tears streamed from her face as she slammed on the glass in front oh her. She wanted to stop this, stop the pain she felt as every kick landed at her stomach. She wanted her to fight back. Do something. She was watching her own attack and she couldn't do anything to help her former self.

"**GET UP**!" She screamed in hysterics "**FIGHT BACK**! We always fight back, we never give up. I never give up"

Her hands banged against the glass, she was struggling for air, yet screams still erupted from deep within her. How could she just give up like that? Why wasn't she fighting back?

Eventually she detached from the fact that she was watching herself get beaten, the person getting punched was just another victim, somebody who couldn't stick up for herself, so, as a police officer she had to.

"**LEAVE HER ALONE YOU SON OF A BITCH!**"

She watched him turn. He had stopped kicking the girl, stopped kicking her. Her body trembled as he stood glaring at her. Slowly he started to walk towards her.

"What did you say to me?" He questioned innocently, his tone calm, soft, threatening.

"I... I... I didn't mean... I'm sorry" she wept.

His already angry face contorted, pure rage swept across it. His eyes were hollow and dangerous as he started to walk towards her.

"No, wait...stop" she breathed "I'm sorry."

Even with the unbreakable glass protecting her she shook with fear. Suddenly his fist flew at the protective barrier. The unmistakable sound of the glass shattering rang through the air. She screamed as the same fist reached out to grab her. Then she woke up.

XXXX

"Liv, honey, wake up" Alex breathed softly "it's just a dream, a nightmare."

Olivia awoke to the sound of screaming, it took a while to realise it was her screaming. Moonlight seeped in through the window casting eerie shadows around the room. Alex stood over her, face creased with worry. Olivia struggled to catch her breath as she looked at her friend, realising she had woken her. She looked over to the nightstand, beneath it lay a glass, or at least the remains of one. She stared at it, realising that was where she had heard the smashing glass, and sighed.

"Thank you" she whispered

"Not a problem" Alex half smiled back

Earlier that evening Olivia had lay in her hospital bed and told them everything. It wasn't a proper statement just a way to help ease the pain of her secrets, even though they already knew most of it. Her doctor had warned her not to get into any stressful situations, after all she had only come around from a major operation in the last 48 hours, but if she didn't tell them now, she knew she never would.

"It was El, I tried to help him, but he was a drunk" Olivia started out

"I know" Cragen replied, stopping her. He had already told everyone else that he had suspicions of Elliot being an alcoholic, not an abuser, but they still knew he was beating himself up about it.

"It started a few months back, he kept telling me I was wrong, kept ignoring me. He would make a comment about how I had got it wrong again, make coffee for everyone but me. Petty things really, but he escalated."

"Go on Liv." Cragen sighed.

"We were working a case, I questioned a suspect but she shut up on me. Elliot... Elliot got mad, blamed me. On the way back to the squad car he grabbed me, by the hair, pulled me into an alley. He threw me into a wall, I tried to push him away, but he punched me. I...I panicked, he had his hand over my throat, I couldn't breath, so I begged with him, he realised what he had done, then he left me there"

Olivia paused, taking a deep breath. She closed her eyes, dragging them away from the pity in the eyes of her friends. A tear escaped her and she didn't bother to stop it. Somebody squeezed her hand a silent vow of support. Nobody was forcing her to talk, but she had to.

"After the attack I told him we needed to talk, we went up to the crib, he kept saying he was sorry, promising me he wouldn't hurt me again. I told him I would give him another chance, but he laughed in my face. He said I had deserved it, that it was my fault. I flipped, said I was going to tell you." She paused nodding towards Cragen "He... He lunged at me. Pinned me to one of the beds. He was on top of me, punching, slapping. I... I was terrified. I fought back, ran to the door. I said that it was over that I was telling you" she paused again glancing at Cragen. "He started crying, and, I just couldn't do it.

The room was silent Alex stared at nothing, her blood boiled at the thought of everything that beast had done. It was only her and Cragen left with Olivia, both Fin and Munch had gone, after hearing what they needed to hear, to both find Elliot and make the ordeal easier for Liv. Olivia swallowed the tears rising in her throat and carried on.

"The last attack, he came in the squad late, he was drunk, I told him I was going to get him help by handing him in, then I tried to leave, he got mad." She wasn't sure she could go on, she felt sick but knew this was the biggest step "He started to kick me, punch me, I... I remember screaming. I stated to cough up blood, everything was starting to get cloudy, to go black. I thought, I thought I was going to die. That's all I remember" she whispered, her voice wavering.

Alex clutched Olivia's hand as she felt it tremble beneath hers. Alex kept telling her it was over, but they knew it wasn't, not until Elliot was found.

Innocence turned black,

Like the dark midnight sky,

Used to be pure and soft,

Like a bedtime lullaby,

Fear lingers all night,

In those pretty brown eyes,

Look further,

Look at the pain she hides,

It hurts so much,

She wants to cry,

But she holds it all in,

She is forced to lie,

Forgive and forget,

Is what she was taught,,

But how can she forget the touch,

Or the pain that it brought?

**So what do you think? I hope your enjoying this story and I hope you don't find this chapter to slow. Please R&amp;R and tell me your honest opinions**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own people**

**Enjoy**

**Chapter 12**

"I don't think I can do this" Olivia winced.

She gripped the bars either side of as pain coursed through her body, she suddenly felt light headed, but with the physiotherapist supporting her she managed to stay up right.

"Say that one more time and I'll have Fin arrest you." Alex smirked, a look of mock seriousness on her face.

Olivia laughed, it was a loud and breathy sound that filled the room with warmth. Alex and Fin looked at each other, they had been desperate to hear that sound for almost a month now. Olivia grinned at them, which quickly changed to a grimace as she tried again to walk. The damage caused to her legs when she was tossed through the window made it a temporary struggle to move. Combined with the pain, the brain op, and not moving from a hospital bed for three weeks, Olivia was finding it tough.

The list of her injuries went on forever. She had three cracked ribs, a fractured wrist, tendon damage in her legs, and not forgetting the internal bleed in both her stomach and brain. Despite all this she was determined to stay strong. She toke the pain, knowing if she didn't that it was the end of her career, and she couldn't lose that now. However much she hated it, she took her medication, followed the doctors orders, and didn't shout at anyone who gave her pitying looks (which was the toughest of the tree). One goal was plastered in her mind. Get better.

Cragen had forced her to see a shrink, dread filled her stomach every time their next meeting loomed. The shrink was a kind faced professional women, who was undoubtedly good at her job, not Huang though. When his name had been mentioned, Olivia had nearly broken down, she couldn't bear the though of speaking to a man that knew _him_. She couldn't bear to think about _him_.

It was a slow recovery. Time had dragged by achingly slow, which only gave her more time to think about all that had happened. When she had eventually signed the release paper, she felt a weight lift of her shoulders, freeing her.

Limping back into her apartment that evening, Olivia felt oddly at peace. She had spoken to Cragen today, who had confirmed she could come back to work within the next two or three weeks. The air felt cool in the apartment, it was soothing against her abused skin. She didn't bother with any lights as the setting sun had streaked the apartment in bright gold and reds. With the help of a crutch she walked to the window, leaning on the frame for support. At some point spring had arrived, unnoticed by Olivia. As she stared out of the window she was shocked to see blossom appearing on trees and window boxes begin to pop with colour. She tilted her head toward the sinking sun, the sky was alive with soft hues of gold...pink...yellow. Letting the sun warm her face Olivia sighed. Her shoulders relaxed and she let out a breath, not realising she had been holding it. She didn't remember knowing when she had last felt like this. The night sky fell and drowned the sun in darkness. Bright stars flickered in the inky blackness it created, noticeable even through the harsh lights New York City created. But with the glistening stars came the darkness, it flooded through he along with one question. Where was Elliot?

XXXX

It had been two months now since anyone had seen Elliot, not his ex wife, his kids, and certainly not any of the squad. They had searched for him, tracking his cell, his car and even his credit cards. No luck. They had followed lead after lead, but each time they had drawn a blank. It was like he had disappeared from the face of the earth, which was hardly surprising, if anybody knew how to do it Elliot did.

XXXX

"Deep breaths Olivia." She ordered to herself in the privacy of the lift. It was he first day back and she felt unnaturally nervous. It was the looks. The pity. She just couldn't handle it, not when she needed everything to be normal. Walking in to the squad room Olivia held her head high, ignoring the pitying looks that had burned through her, only acknowledging the 'welcome back's from her closet colleagues. Looking at her desk she relaxed, nothing about it had changed. In front of it sitting in Elliot's old seat, Lisa had her head bent down and was scrawling something, so distracted she didn't notice Olivia until she sat down.

"Morning" she smiled at Olivia.

Her smile appeared genuine and Olivia noticed the fact that instead of the pitying looks or the welcome back, Lisa had acted like it was just any other workday. She liked it.

Hours after Olivia arriving a man walked into the precinct, he had a jacket on which stated he worked for '_Sally's Florist and Wedding Emporium_' in his arms were a stunning bouquet of flowers, the smell was intoxicating, and even though he was just a delivery boy, he knew they must have cost an arm and a leg.

"Miss Benson" he called out into the hectic looking squad room.

Olivia looking up from her mountain of overdue paperwork, smiled at him and waved him over. He placed the bouquet in from of her and asked her to sign. Once he had left Olivia picked them up inhaling deeply. She clutched at the note thinking they must have been from a friend who had heard of her injuries.

Her face fell when she read the note. It made her stomach twist inside of her, nausea rocked her body as she stared at the handwriting. '_Sorry xx_'.

Munch looked at her, grinning.

"Ahhh, the sweet fragrance of young love" he gazed.

He was shocked when the flowers flew at him, hitting him square in the face.

"Not your favourites then?" He questioned teasingly

"Ha!" Olivia laughed harshly "You can say that again. Burn them for all I care."

By now the whole squad was watching. Munch picked up the flowers, and stared at the note, his face sinking as he took it in. By this time Cragen was there, wondering why his detectives had gone quiet.

"They're from Elliot" Munch stated, not needing a signature to prove it.

The whole squad turned to look at Olivia her face was in her hands. Wondering if she was crying they relaxed as they watched her exhale heavily through her nose and run her hands through her hair.

"Well don't just sit there looking pretty." Cragen snarked "Find out where they came from, and find him"

He spat the last word out in disgust before remembering something,

"Oh and Benson" he paused "It's good to have you back."

**So... Any thoughts? The hunt begins! Please review with some criticism, it really does help. Just a heads up there more drama to come...**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own characters.**

**Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 13**

'Sally's_ Florist and Wedding Emporium_' had turned out to be completely useless. When Munch and Fin had arrived they discovered that the business had no security cameras, and that Elliot had payed in cash. When asking the guy at the counter if he had ever seen Elliot he had replied no, and then not so nicely told them to leave and stop putting of customers. They didn't want to go back to the precinct with another broken lead. They had seen what it had done to Liv, when she first came back, she seemed confident, but after the flowers, she had changed. Nobody had said anything about her weight loss, or her sunken cheeks. Not when they knew that closure was the only cure.

Walking back to the hastily parked squad car, Fin had felt the anger rise within him, slamming the car door behind him he put his head in his hands.

"Easy man" Munch had sighed "We don't want to get back and have to tell cap'n we've fucked up his squad car as well as the lead"

Fin looked at him silent, before staring out towards the hectic sidewalk. This was making Liv ill, if he was struggling, how was she coping? Suddenly Fin snapped out of his daydreams. He could have swore he had just seen Elliot, strolling casually past. Anger bubbled in him as he chased after the back of the man.

"**Elliot you son of a**!" Fin screamed spinning the man around.

"What the hell? Who the fuck is Elliot?" The man had seethed.

"S... Sorry man, thought you were someone else" Fin sighed defeated.

Making his way back to the squad car, he saw Munch laughing. How could he laugh at a situation like that? Seeing his face Munch stopped.

"Look man, you need to chill out. Being like this isn't going to help Liv. If we don't laugh, we will cry"

Looking at him, Fin wondered how this man managed to always say the right thing, to always be so calm and positive. He admired him for that, however Munch was sitting there admiring Fin for his determination, his passion. Both men didn't have much time to think as they rolled up to the precinct. Walking into the squad room there hearts sunk as expectant faces looked at them.

"Sorry, no cameras paid in cash, desk guy didn't recognise him." Munch sighed.

Both men were surprised to see Olivia get up from her desk, and grab her coat. She walked past, And Fin went to catch up with her, stopping when he felt a hand on his arm. Turning around he was shocked to see Lisa.

"She knows you too well, trust me she won't want to talk about this to you" she said.

Holding his hands up in surrender he moved to let Lisa pass. She had to run to catch up.

"LIV wait" she said breathlessly.

Turning around Oliver was shocked to see Lisa, she had expected Fin, or Munch, heck even Cragen, but not Lisa.

"Look I'm fine... I just thought it was over you know?" Olivia sighed

This was turing out to be easier than expected, instead of saying anything Lisa let Olivia continue. They fell in to step with each other.

"I... I don't know. I just expected us to catch him, so I could ask him why. Why he did what he did. I wanted to understand. I thought this whole nightmare was over." Olivia stated, not knowing why she was opening up like this.

Lisa just nodded, knowing the talking was doing her good.

"I need this to over know so I can move on, so the squad can. Don't think I haven't noticed the impact this has had on everyone. Then there's his kids. When the flowers came I was angry but I thought that was it, case closed."

Now Lisa interrupted.

"Olivia you need to stop treating this as just 'another case', a victim that isn't you. This is your life and whatever you're feeling, it's allowed. You're going to hate me saying this, but if you want to cry, cry. If you need to scream, scream, and if you need to hit something, do it. As long as it's not me"

The last sentence earned a laugh from Olivia. Lisa was relieved to here it, especially since it had been absent from the squad room for so long now. The two women walked along in a mutual relaxed silence. Olivia felt so much better for the talk, for the fact that someone had listened. The wind fluttered through her hair as she walked along, liking the fact of not having a destination. Suddenly her stomach rumbled, she hadn't realised how hungry she was, she hadn't felt hungry or eaten properly in days. Hearing the noise, Lisa directed them into a nearby cafe, paying for two coffees and two sandwiches. Nodding at her to eat, Olivia smiled her thanks.

Olivia was half way through devouring her sandwich when her phone rang

"Benson" came her quick reply

"Hey Liv" came a slightly slurred reply

"Elliot..." Came her wobbly reply

Lisa looked up in shock. She felt sick when she noticed Liv's face had drained of colour and that the hand cupping the phone was trembling slightly.

"It's okay, keep him talking" Lisa mouthed at her.

"El... Elliot where are you?" Olivia questioned, her voice now not giving away any emotion.

"Wouldn't you like to know" he laughed cruelly down the phone.

"Nobody's angry at you" Olivia breathed , hoping in his intoxicated state he would believe her. "Just tell us where you are. We can come get you"

"DONT TREAT ME LIKE IM STUPID" he yelled down the phone.

His voice made her jump, she reminded herself to stay calm, but she couldn't ignore the all to familiar twist of nausea. Her hand was shaking lightly, as she went to put him on speaker. She almost dropped it when she heard him order her to keep the speaker off. It made her shiver, it was like he had read her mind. She looked up, the phone still at her ear, his breathing rasping down it. Staring at the menu like it was as important as the Declaration of Independence she waited for him to speak.

"Look Liv" he started " I'm sorry about everything. I swear I'm clean now, it was all just a big mistake. You can tell everyone that, can't you? We can pretend it never happened. I know I fucked up but I love you."

She felt herself gag at the las three words, she looked towards Lisa, and she could tell she hadn't heard any of it.

"No El" she stated, sounding calmer than she felt. Elliot just ignored her.

"I'll see you soon, love you." He whispered down the phone before hanging up.

Olivia dropped the phone, it landed face up on the table, undamaged. Lisa grabbed it, and got up to leave. She stopped only when she saw that Olivia hadn't moved. Her stomach turned, she had only heard snippets of the conversation, and knew he hadn't told his location. She was hoping it wasn't a pre payed cell, that they could track it, but that didn't matter know.

"Olivia, what did he say?" She whispered

Unblinking Olivia replied, "he...he asked me to tell everyone it was an accident"

Knowing there was more Lisa prodded for information. "What else?"

"He said he... He loved me, that we were going to see each other soon." she whispered back

XXXX

Back at the precinct all hell had broken loose. When Olivia and Lisa had returned, and the story had been told, the whole squad jumped to action, tracking the phone with Huang listening to the call, to see if he could work out Elliot's mental state. The phone call was repeatedly played to listen for any sound that could indicate where he was.

Olivia was slowly getting more stressed, everything was moving too slowly. Her heart was beating fast, and she felt strangely light headed. Walking back into the squad room after Cragen had ordered a 10 minute break she felt he legs give way beneath her, thankfully a rookie cop grabbed her, and being a rookie presumed she was just tired. Seeing Munch laughing and joking was the last straw, she started to shout at him, at anyone who would listen.

"Detective! My office, now!" Cragen barked at her

Walking into his office she closed the door behind her, expecting a lecture, however she was shocked to see his face soften.

"Go home Liv, eat something, get some sleep or your off the case he sighed"

"But cap'n" she started to protest.

"No buts Liv. When was the last time you ate? Slept? Don't try to fool me."

Olivia turned to go, ashamed at the tears in her eyes, but Cragen grabbed her.

"I'm worried about you, please, please eat." His eyes where pleading, and now she couldn't stop the tears from escaping. They burned her face, the scars. When she looked at Cragen she saw the familiar gleam of tears in his eyes too. It broke her heart.

knowing if she didn't leave now she wouldn't have the energy, she turned and went. Her heart heavy with dread.

**So please review with your thoughts and criticisms. I'm pretty sure of my next chapter, and I swear something had and dramatic happens. Any ideas of any plot twist or something you would like to see in the story? If so pleas review and I hope you all like!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I own nobody but my own people **

**Just a note I was wondering what you guys think of Lisa? I know that SVU fans struggle a bit with new detectives, and I'm not sure about her. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 14**

Olivia had walked out of the office, keeping her head down, ignoring the concerned looks. She didn't know how much more of this she could take. Her life was slipping through her fingertips, and the harder she grasped at it the further it fell. The cold night air wrapped its fingertips around her, poking at her bare skin. It was spring, but the cold night wind of winter hadn't begun to warm up yet. Shuddering she made her way back to her apartment. Letting herself in she threw her keys on the couch. She opened up the cupboard and grabbed a bottle of red wine, before putting it back and opting for water instead. She still hadn't eaten properly in days, and it was clearly showing. She grabbed the class of water and went to sit down. Before she got the chance the room stated to spin. Swaying slightly, she felt a sense of nausea overwhelm her. Gripping the counter, she took some deep shuddering breaths. Her hands were shaking. She couldn't stop them. The glass dropped beneath her. It shattered into thousands of pieces, glinting under the harsh kitchen lights.

XXXX

Seconds after Olivia had left, Cragen had called Alex. He waited impatiently for her to answer, and when she did he practically ordered her to go and check on Olivia. Alex hadn't needed persuading. Worried about her friend she grabbed her coat and set out into the cold night, shuddering just as Olivia had. Making her way over and into Olivia's building, Alex was thankful for the warmth. Getting into the lift she starred at her blurred reflection. There was a feeling of unease hanging in the air. It had been there since she had heard about what Elliot had said on the phone. '_I'll see you soon. Love you_'

Shuddering to a halt, the lift dragged her from her thoughts. Making her way to Olivia's door she was about to knock when she heard the unmistakable sound of breaking glass. Slightly panicked she shouted out,

"Liv, Olivia! Are you in there? I'm coming in okay?"

Trying the door she was surprised to find it unlocked. Pushing it straight open she walked down the hallway, not bothering with her coat or shoes. She headed straight for the kitchen. In the middle of it, in the remains of a glass, stood Olivia. Alex watched her tremble slightly. Her body was rocked with emotion. Suddenly Olivia let out a small sob. Alex grabbed her as Olivia's legs gave way to that emotion. Sitting on the floor she held her there, letting her silently sob into her shoulder, knowing it was all she could do.

After ten minutes of crying and twenty of sitting in silence, Alex pushed Olivia away to look at her. Her face was red, but Alex noticed something else. Deep in Olivia's eyes lay a small spark of light, and although she hated to see it, Alex knew that the cry had done her could.

"Hey" Alex whispered.

"Hey" Olivia half laughed half sighed back.

"Cragen asked me to come, said he was worried that you hadn't eaten properly or slept recently" Alex sighed.

Olivia had her head and back resting on the cupboard, her knees brought up slightly, alex was sitting the same way next to her, the glass still unswept before them.

"He's right" Olivia sighed " I haven't eaten properly in days."

"Right then, do you want me to attempt to cook, or shall we order in?" Alex laughed.

Realising how hungry she was, Olivia decided her next meal should be edible.

"I think take out is the safest bet." Olivia laughed "No offence."

"None taken" Alex grinned, which was unusual for her. She was just glad that the cry seemed to make her friend seem better, and hungry.

Standing up Alex grabbed the phone, dialling a local pizza place and ordering half menu. After that she grabbed the dustpan, and bent down to start clearing away the glass. Olivia groaned.

" I can't believe a broken glass set me off" she said, wincing at the memory.

Alex smirked. "It did the job, I think that cry was better than any conversation we could have had"

Olivia just mock glared at her, before standing up to help. She flicked on the kettle and got out her to biggest coffee mugs. Answering the door she payed the pizza guy before settling down on the couch next to Alex. Flicking on the tv she switched to a comedy programme about some guy running a hotel. Olivia wasn't one for comedy, but she had to admit this made her laugh. The two women polished of the food, as well as another cup of coffee. Gossiping, they sat there laughing for ages, but by nine o'clock Olivia had started to flag. Alex noticed her yawn and her head loll ever so slightly, so immediately bed was ordered. Olivia didn't protest, not even when Alex said she was going to stay and sleep on the couch. Sliding under the covers Olivia's head barely had the chance to hit the pillow before she was out. In the front room, on the couch, Alex had drifted of in a similar way.

XXXX

Next morning Olivia woke to Alex yelling at her she was going to be late, looking at he clock she realised she had slept through her alarm. She had had a dreamless night of heavy sleep, and she didn't know when was the last time she had woken up feeling to be so full of energy. She liked it. Getting out of bed she padded softly into the bathroom. Stepping into the shower finally woke her up properly, which is when she realised that if she didn't hurry up she really was going to be late. Pulling on some clothes she grabbed her phone, Alex had already left so Olivia went to grab her keys to lock up behind her, remembering that they where now wedged down the side couch she grabbed them a left, slamming the door lightly behind her.

Leaving her building she looked up to the sky, it was clear and blue, as though it had been washed clean. A soft, cool breeze fluttered her hair out gently behind her, the coldness of the breeze bringing colour into her cheeks. It was still early, and everywhere seemed quiet and peaceful.

Suddenly the peace was shattered. A screeching of tyres behind Olivia made her spin round. A silver van screeched to a halt in front of her. Knowing something was amiss Olivia started to run. The van doors slid open and two men jumped out in front of her. She spun to run the other way. Her heart pounded in her chest. One of the man grabbed her by the hair pulling her back. She started to scream. The other guy clamped his hand over her mouth. She bit down. Hard. Swearing at her one guy pinned her arms behind her back.

"YOU LITTLE BITCH!" The bitten guy seethed " You asked for this!"

Without warning he threw a hard punch in her face. She screamed in pain, but there was nobody to hear her. Stars floated before her eyes. Blood dripped heavily from her nose. She started to kick aiming for wherever hurt, but the two men were big. They pinned her arms down, pulled away her gun and chucked it, along with her bloodied phone.

"GET OF ME!" She screamed. Spitting the blood from her mouth at the

"Listen lady, the less you fight the easier it will be" snarled one man, as she was dragged toward the van.

Olivia pulled back, fighting in vain attempt to free herself. She was beginning to lose consciousness. The men flung her into the van slamming the door shut behind her. She screamed once more for help. After realising it wasn't coming, she slumped to the cold floor of the van, looking around to see if she could see anything. She couldn't. The van was pitch black. She jumped as she heard a voice.

"Hey Liv."

She couldn't see a thing, but she knew that voice anywhere.

"Elliot." She whispered.

**So? What d'ya think? Please review with criticisms and ideas, it really does help. And, by the way I'm really sorry **


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own people.**

**Chapter 15 **

Olivia couldn't help the silent tears that streamed from her eyes. They ran down her face, steaming through the patches of dried blood. Her hands shook as she tried to push away from her captor. If it was anyone else she would have fought back, kicked, screamed, bit, but her body failed her. She had given up simply at the sight of Elliot.

They had been traveling for a mere twenty minutes when the van stopped. Seeing her chance, Olivia tried the door of her van. Her attempts were useless. Seeing this she started to scream, kicking at the door. She was about to kick again when the van door swung open, revealing an empty parking lot, and one of the men. Screaming for help, she lunged forward, trying to escape. The man said nothing as he pushed her back onto the van floor. She panicked as she saw the other man hand him a roll of duct tape. Cutting a strip the man silenced her with it.

"You'll see what happens to people who damage my van. They get punished." grinned the man that was pinning her down. "Oh and by the way my names Kal, nice to meet you...Detective. I owed Elliot here a favour, so we're gonna 'borrow' you for a while." He slurred, his face above hers, his breath warm on her neck.

He sat up, away from her face. For a brief second she was relieved, but then he climbed on top of her again. The punishment. He straddled her beneath him. Realising what was about to happen she kicked to get away. Her attempts were weak. Her body exhausted. Kal ran his hands away from her covered breasts, sliding them down her torso. Her eyes widened as he unbuttoned her pants. He was about to slide them away when a voice stopped him.

"Leave. Her. Alone" It whispered from the shadows.

Kal sighed, he straightened up, dragging Olivia into a sitting position. Her heart plummeted as she heard the familiar click of her own cuffs on her wrist behind her. Leaving the other unnamed assailant behind with her and Elliot, Kal started up the van engine. Driving away the van jostled beneath her silently. She felt sick. Her thoughts ran wildly through her head. She hadn't been gone that long, she wondered if the squad even realised yet.

Suddenly a bright light flickered above them, blinking at the harshness of it Olivia turned to see Elliot and the other guy. She hadn't recognised Kal, and she didn't this guy either. He looked to be in his late forties, he was unshaven with a thick grey beard. Even underneath it she could make out a line of hard, cruel lips. He was tall, muscular, and she could see now why the men hadn't struggled to overpower her once her gun was gone.

As if reading her thoughts. Elliot spoke

"Meet Franklin Lewys, or Frank"

Unable to answer back she stared at Elliot, looking for any signs of emotion. Finding none she flew into detective mode. Had she recognised the parking lot? No, nothing, but they had only been traveling for twenty minutes to get there. Did she recognise Frank or Kal? She had already determined that that was a firm no, so instead she started to remember what they looked like, small details about them which could come in handy. Seeing her mind racing Elliot decided he had had enough of the silence.

"If I take the tape of, are you going to behave?" He questioned. Seeing her nod he yanked it off, earning a hiss from Olivia.

"Let me go you pig!" She seethed at him.

"Now why would I do that?" He mocked at her.

"Because if you don't my squad will hunt your pathetic little ass down and shove it on death row!" Olivia raged.

Elliot looked at her laughing "No chance." he grinned at her.

"What the hell do you want?" She asked.

Raising her gun he looked at her as if pondering.

"You." He explained, before bringing the gun down on her temple.

XXXX

"Hi Olivia speaking. If I'm not answering I'm either busy, not here, or ignoring you. I might ring you back later. I might not. If it's important ring my cell, not my home phone."

Fin sighed in frustration, he'd tried her cell. Five times. It wasn't like her to not answer, especially when she was an hour late and desperate to stay on the case. Munch looked at Fin sighing, the same thoughts were running through his head as well.

"Cragen?" He questioned.

"Cragen." Fin agreed.

Walking into his office, Cragen noticed the worry in the two men's eyes. He didn't need to tell munch to close the door, he already had, indicating this was serious. Opening his mouth to question them Cragen was interrupted by Fin.

"Sorry cap'n, but Olivia's late. We've rung her cell, and home phone at least five times each. No answer. This isn't like her, not when she's so desperate to find Elliot"

Looking at his detectives, Cragen couldn't shake of the feeling of unease. It didn't take him long to realise what they were asking.

"Fin, take Lisa and check her apartment. Munch stay here keep ringing her, if there's nothing after thirty minutes, track her cell."

Nodding in agreement the men left. Fin indicated for Lisa to follow him. She did knowing already what this was about. Lisa could tell that Fin was stressed out so when they reached the squad car she offered to drive. It wasn't a question, it was an order, and Fin didn't fight it. Going slightly over the speed limit they were at Liv's place in minutes. Knocking on the door, they waited for a reply for what seemed like a lifetime. Giving up Fin was about to kick the door open when Olivia's neighbour came out.

"Are you looking for Olivia?" She questioned.

"Yes ma'am, we're detectives. We work with her at special victims." Fin told the women.

"Well she's not here," said the women " I heard her leave for work two hours ago."

Thanking her, the two detectives left. They were now getting increasingly worried. This really wasn't like Liv. Fin pulled out his cell and started dialling her phone again. He walked on praying for an answer when he heard Lisa shout.

"Fin wait!" She yelled

"What?" He asked about to put the phone down.

"No keep it ringing!" She yelled again.

Fin stood their watching her, he knew what she was doing. He could by now hear the phone ringing as well. He didn't want to believe it was hers.

"Fin. Come look at this." He heard Lisa call out.

Turning into the entrance of a small alley he saw Lisa on the floor. She had her gloves on and in her hand was Olivia's phone. The screen was broken and bloodied. Fin followed his eyes downward to see Olivia's gun, lying in a small pool of blood.

"Ring CSU. Now." Fin barked.

XXXX

Waking up Olivia moaned. At some point the van had stopped, she wasn't sure where she was or how long they had driven, but one thing she knew was that her head hurt like hell. Pulling her from the van she stumbled slightly. Something wasn't right. Apart from the fact that she had a concussion, a few cracked ribs, and the fact that she had been kidnapped, her skin was burning. Every inch of her felt like it was boiling, yet she couldn't control the shivers that consumed her body, even in her winter coat and out in the sun. Every now and then blackness ebbed at the sides of her vision, and she felt the world spin around her. She couldn't worry about that now.

"Wh... Where are we?" She pleaded, looking around and seeing what appeared to have once been... Ships? They where still docked, and floating on the water, but they where old and rusted.

Elliot looked at her, figuring she had no way of telling anyone anything he stated " Staten Island Boat Graveyard, better known as the Arthur Kill Boat Yard." He grimaced.

Olivia looked around and shuddered, due both to the fear and the fever. She had heard of this place, it's where boats came to die, and people too. She had heard of many a poor soul that had hung themselves here. Or been murdered. Looking around, she was shocked to find the three men were dragging her towards one of the boats. Stepping aboard she heard the flooring creak underneath her.

"Why are we on a ship. Wh...where are you taking me?" She pleaded as fresh tears sprung down her bloodied face.

Suddenly she realised. Kal released her shoulder and walked ahead of her, opening up a door in the flooring. They wanted her to go down there. She wouldn't, because if she did she knew she wouldn't come up again.

"No...NO!" She screamed flinging herself back, colliding into Elliot. Seeing her chance she went to knee him, but instantly a blow landed to the side of her head, and with it a resounding crack. She couldn't believe it was Elliot. Couldn't believe what he was doing

Gripping he arms he whispered to her almost softly "You don't have a choice."

**so what do ya'll think? Just a heads up there will be NO rape in this isn't what this story is about. I read some fanfics that are really quite disturbing...**

**Anyway where do you think I should go from here? Please review with any criticisms/ ideas.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own people**

**Chapter 16 **

Olivia was lead down a small passageway. The boat was old, possibly ex military. At the end of the passage was a stout iron door. It looked new. Kal slid the bolt across effortlessly, it was well oiled, and made no sound. The door swung open, revealing an empty chamber. There was no bed, no seat, just a cold metal floor and a mucky porthole, which let in a sliver of sunlight. It was like a prison. It was a prison.

Kal and Frank threw her to the floor. Colliding with it she bit back the pain, determined to seem strong. Scrambling to her feet she was pushed down again. Kneeling in front of her kal's green eyes stared into hers. She didn't look away, she couldn't show the fear. Kal lifted his hand, he rested it softly on her cheek. He began tracing her cheekbone upwards, stopping to drag her hair behind her ear. Still she stared him down. Her breath returned to hear as he moved away, but her relief was short lived when she heard the rustling of chains. Glancing down she whimpered as a shackle was locked around her left ankle.

Her chest felt tight, she knew something was wrong, but she would never ask these lowlife's for help. She jumped as the door was slammed. Looking up she saw Elliot leaning against the now firmly shut door. Kal and Frank had disappeared. She was about to speak when she started coughing. Fear rose in her stomach as she looked at the hand she had hidden the coughs within. It was sprinkled with dots of blood. Bright, dangerous blood. She closed her eyes and let her head loll against the wall, her skin burning with each movement.

"You okay?"

Olivia jumped at Elliot's words "Why would you care?" she snarled.

"You're here because I care" Elliot whispered.

Looking at him he almost seemed like the old Elliot, his face soft with concern. It made her feel sick.

"If you cared you wouldn't have hit me. If you cared you would have handed yourself in. If... If you cared, you would let me go." Olivia cried, a tear rolling down her cheek.

Suddenly she started to cough again. She couldn't breath. With each cough came more blood. She couldn't hide it this time. Elliot was by her side in seconds, he took off his jacket and placed it around her suddenly icy shoulders.

"We need to talk, to work things out. We will, but you need to rest now." Elliot stated, before standing and knocking three times of the door. Immediately it swung open, releasing him. Leaving her.

Olivia shuddered, it was as if she couldn't take a deep enough breath. She plunged her freezing hands deep into the jacket Elliot had given her. Instantly she felt something cold and solid beneath her fingertips. Not believing his mistake, she started to cry when she realised it was Elliot's cell. She wasn't deterred when she saw she needed a password. Immediately she tried all his children's names, when that failed she even tried her own. Nothing. She racked her brains. There were endless possibilities, but knowing the other immediate answers had failed there was only one more option. His badge number. Punching it in she didn't have time to celebrate her guess as she scrolled through his contacts and found Cragen. It rang twice before he picked up.

"Elliot you bastard! Where the hell are you?"

Olivia paused for a moment, suddenly realising that they might not have known that she was gone yet. It was still only 7:00pm by this time.

"C...captain it's me." Olivia whispered.

"Oh my god Olivia! You gave us a fright. Where are you? Are you okay?" Cragen yelled down the phone.

Olivia listened to the commotion, knowing Cragen had called everyone to listen. She tried for a deep breath, but couldn't.

"No... No I'm not okay. It's Elliot, he found me." Olivia whispered, crying now.

"We know. We kno..." Cragen started, before he was interrupted by Olivia.

"It's not just that. I need help. I... I can't breath. I keep coughing up blood I'm struggling to stay awake. Something's wrong. Please help me." She pleaded

XXXX

At the precinct.

"Please help me." Olivia pleaded down the phone. Those three words broke the hearts of everyone in the room. Olivia _never_ begged for help, not unless it was serious. Alex, who had been called as soon as Olivia had been reported missing, looked over to Casey, who likewise had. Both women had tears in their eyes.

"Olivia" Cragen panicked "Olivia, you need to stay awake, tell us where you are."

The squad listened as the heard Olivia draw in a painful breath, preparing to speak. Suddenly a scream erupted from the phone.

"OLIVIA!" Cragen screamed "OLIVIA SPEAK TO US!"

They crew where rewarded with a murmur. Olivia. She screamed again. Suddenly the squad heard an ear wrenching crack. It was followed again by Olivia. Pleading. The whole squad could hear every hit. Every impact. It went on for minutes. Eventually Olivia's cries for help had stopped. The punches didn't. Again. Again. Every blow seeming louder through the muffled speaker. Again. Again. This time it was Cragen pleading for a response. Anything to indicate she was alive. Then...

Silence.

**I'm sorry. It just happened. Don't hurt me... Thanks for all the reviews by the way. Keep um coming the criticism and ideas are good!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I own nothin but my own characters.**

**Chapter 17**

Olivia went to drag her hand across her aching forehead. Instantly her hand was stopped. Opening her eyes, she hissed at the sunlight. Looking upwards she saw her hands bound heavily above her. Looking towards her feet she noticed that they were both now chained. Slowly, her memories came flooding back. Elliot. Kal and Frank. The phone call. Oh god, the phone call. Looking around she jumped as she saw Kal siting in the corner. He had a pen knife. He kept flicking it open, again and again. She looked at the blood on his hands, on his face. Her blood. The metallic smell of it filled the room, whilst the blood itself stained the walls and floor. She knew the attack had been bad, her ears were ringing, and he head thumped. Already she knew her wrist was broken, along with a couple of ribs. This wasn't what worried her though. What worried her was the tightness of her chest, her coughing, the blood. Suddenly her thoughts were stopped as Kal interrupted them.

"Mornin' sunshine. Glad to see you're finally awake. You've been out of it all night."

Olivia flinched at the words. She knew it was Kal that had beat her. Done this to her. And after all she had been through she knew it was pointless. She had never got the chance to tell the people looking for her where she was.

"That was a sly trick you played there, the cells prepaid, they won't be able to track it." Kal laughed

Deep down she had already known that. If they had been able to track it she would either be back at the precinct or they would've moved her. Still saying nothing, she rolled her head towards the window. Closing her eyes, she tried to block out the pain, block out everything. It didn't last long as she started to cough again. She couldn't move. She was on her back. She couldn't control the it. Couldn't spit out the blood. She started to choke. She couldn't breath. Everything started to go black again, when suddenly she felt herself being rolled. Kal.

Taking a deep breath in she rolled silently back again. Kal stared at her.

"Aren't you going to say thank you?" He growled.

Seeing she wasn't her grabbed her face. Screaming at the pain it caused, Olivia was forced to look at him.

"I would rather die than thank you." She whispered.

"Is that a request?" Kal laughed "Or I could do something else."

Olivia didn't expect what came next. Kal's face looming in hers. His lips pressed against her bruised ones. Moaning she pulled away. He wasn't finished.

"Woah, hold up there a second, I'm just trying to finish what Elliot stopped the other day." He laughed.

Olivia tried to pull away from him, but she couldn't, his knife agains her throat. His hands began to roam over her body. Once again he didn't hesitate when he reached her belt. Olivia felt her stomach turn as she realised she couldn't stop him. She whimpered slightly as he pulled down her pants. Not realising what she was doing, she screamed out.

"ELLIOT! ELLIOT! HELP!" She yelled. Closing her eyes, Kal forced his hand over her mouth. He was fully dressed, but in an attempt to subdue her screaming, he had climbed on top of her. Now she could feel everything, his thing. It was hard against her leg. She had given up all hope when she suddenly realised he wasn't on top of her anymore. Opening her eyes she saw Elliot, his arm around kal's neck, dragging him out of the room.

Thinking it was over she closed her eyes again. Only having to open them, when she heard footsteps coming across the room towards her. It was Elliot. Silently he untied the rope, unlocked her shackles. It was the perfect time to run, but she couldn't, and Elliot knew that. He picked her up, carrying her gently into a room next door. He placed her softly into a faded old armchair.

"I'm sorry about Kal. He's an idiot. I won't let him hurt you." Elliot comforted.

"It's not Kal that's hurting me Elliot, it's you." She whispered

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you go. Not after everything I've done." Elliot whispered back.

"Yes you can. You can let me go and be out of the state before I've even looked for help." She pleaded

Elliot knelt in front of her. He grasped her hands, and placed his forehead against her. She didn't pull away. A single tear rolled down his cheek.

"I'm so sorry." he cried.

"Then let me go." pleaded Olivia, now crying too.

"I can't." He whispered.

XXXX

At the precinct all hell had broken loose after the call had ended. When it was discovered that the call couldn't be traced, the squad had kicked into action. Cragen had called Huang to get a idea of how Olivia was doing mentally.

"How do you think she's doing doc?" Cragen asked

"She sounds scared, and vulnerable, but that's to be expected. The fact that she found a way to call proves she hasn't given up. There is still a hint of strength in her voice up until she begs for help. I'm no medic, but I don't think it's because she's terrified, I think it's because she's in pain."

Nodding Cragen went out to see how his detectives were doing. He noticed that someone had been brought in to clear up the sound of the tape. In a different circumstance he might have laughed at the way that his detectives all had exactly the same stance and expression. Walking over to them he asked the professional gadget guy if there was anything. Anything that could help. Playing the tape Cragen stared at the squad in confusion.

"Sounds like water. Could she be by a river, a pipe possibly?" He asked

"No. Notice how the water sounds as if it's sloshing, not running, like waves hitting something. My guess is she's on a boat." The sound guy reeled.

"A moving boat?" Fin questioned.

"No, there's no engine or anything to indicate so." The guy murmured.

Switching into captain mode Cragen started to give out orders.

"Presuming she's still in New York, I want all of you to look for abandoned boat yards, docks, even boating lakes. Staten Island, Long Island, anything within a two hours drive." He ordered.

Immediately every one got to work. It wasn't long before Lisa almost screamed out that she had found something.

"Arthur kill boatyard" she yelled "Staten Island."

"Let's go." Cragen ordered.

**Since you're already down here, how's about a little review? (Lol) I don't care what you write but any ideas/criticisms really do help! I hope you're all liking it, please keep reading.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter 18**

Olivia didn't know when, but at some point she must have fallen asleep in the armchair. Evidently someone had carried her back into her 'cell' and tied her up again. Her body felt abused, beaten, and dried blood tinged her cracked lips from where she had coughed it up in the night. Turning her head, she saw Frank, who was now sitting where Kal had once sat. He was asleep. She was struggling to breath, and the fact that she was severely dehydrated didn't help. She shouted as loudly as her poor lungs could manage. Which was only just loud enough to wake him.

"What do you want?" He growled, grumpy at having been woken up.

"W...water." Olivia rasped in return.

Frank stood up glaring at her, then left. She could here him muttering something in the room next door. Waiting impatiently she almost cried in relief when she saw him return. In his hand was a large glass of water. She cold see it was cold, as already tiny droplets of condensation had formed on the glass. Desperate Olivia pushed her self up on her elbows reaching for the drink. Her face fogged in confusion as Frank pulled it away.

"This is what bitches like you get for waking me up." He seethed, before tipping the icy water over her.

Olivia flinched at the water, she could tell the room was boiling, but everything about her was cold. She lay down and closed her eyes, thinking the attack was over. Suddenly Frank threw the glass, it splintered as it hit the floor, inches from her face. Olivia's eyes opened in shock, but a cut from the glass above her left eye immediately started to blind her, as blood poured from the wound into her eye. Panicking, she started to cough again. She couldn't breath. Her chest was tight. Her skin boiled. All the while more blood came up with each cough. It wasn't long before she passed out.

XXXX

Blinking slightly Olivia groaned, she didn't know if she had been out of it for minutes or hours. All she knew was that she was now alone. Something had woken her. Listening carefully she was sure she could hear sirens. Pulling her self to her feet, she lent against the wall as the room began to spin. Looking out of the window, she dragged her now shackled hands across the porthole, trying to clear it. Staring out she thought she could see blue and red flashing lights far of in the distance. Not sure if she was imagining it, her hopes where confirmed when a crazed looking Elliot slammed the door open.

Seeing her standing at the porthole Elliot went mad, he walked over to her. Suddenly his hand flew up. It struck her face so hard that she fell to the floor.

"YOU BITCH! WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU CALL THE COPS?"

Olivia didn't answer. Frank and a seriously battered kal walked in to the room and dragged her to her feet. She didn't have the strength to pull back. She could barely follow the panicked conversation they where having. Only catching snippets of Elliot screaming that they had to leave. Now.

Dragging her out into the open, Olivia looked around. In the distance, on the other side of the boatyard, Olivia could see a mass of officers. They where checking boats, outhouses, even the long grass that came up to their stomachs. She knew what they were doing. They were looking for her remains. Her body. Pulling her off the boat, Kal ordered her to run. Olivia refused. Up until the point that Elliot had shoved a gun barrel at the back of her head. Stumbling she breathed a sigh of relief as she heard what sounded a lot like Fin ordering them to freeze. When they didn't she watched as Kal and Frank were shot down either side of her. Elliot spun Olivia around, using her as a shield. Olivia saw her whole squad there, even Casey and Alex at the back.

They where still a good 250 meters away. As the advanced Elliot dragged her backwards, by now his gun was firmly pressed into her temple.

Suddenly Elliot dragged her more firmly. She realised he was pulling her onto the deck of one of the oldest looking ships. It was worn, its rails looking about to give way. This was the end, she knew it.

**Fin's Point of view.**

Fin watched as Elliot dragged her onto the boat. Olivia looked ill, she was covered in blood, and her skin was pale and bruised. They had found where she had been kept, and the memory of it made him feel ill. He watched Olivia's sunken eyes as he climbed slowly aboard the boat, they were begging him to help her. To end it.

Elliot backed himself and Olivia towards a railing. Olivia let out a muffled scream as the railing fell away behind her, revealing a 10 meter plunge into icy water. Fin looked at her cuffed hands, at how ill she was. He knew of she went into that water, the cuffs, and whatever was wrong with her would make surviving impossible.

"Come on man, let her go." Fin stated calmly, his gun still positioned towards Elliot, and the now trembling Olivia.

"**NO! **No I won't!" Screamed Elliot, forcing the gun harder into her temple. He took a step back, his left heel now over the edge of the boat.

"Woah! Woah man take it easy. We are just trying to make sure everyone gets out of this alive." Fin spoke.

Elliot shook his head, so Fin turned his attention to Olivia.

"You okay baby girl?" He whispered.

This seemed to enrage Elliot. Something in him clicked. Fin saw it. Elliot took another step back. Olivia reached her cuffed hands out to grab onto something. Anything. Time slowed. Fin watched the pair lose balance. The last thing he heard was Olivia's screams, as both she and Elliot plummeted overboard...

**Sorry. It just, happened. Please review with any thought, criticisms, or ideas!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter 19 **

Before anybody could take in what had happened, Fin was over the edge. He had dived in seconds after Olivia had plummeted. Now everyone was looking over the edge. Munch was yelling out, calling for Fin, the only partner he had ever known. Calling for Olivia, the only women that could ever put a smile on his face when nobody else could. Seconds ticked by like hours. Suddenly the water broke as someone came up gasping for air. Time stilled as they realised it was Elliot. Munch couldn't help the insult that tumbled out of him as he watched as officers pounced on him. They dragged him from the water, cuffing him instantly. He looked unharmed.

Officers in diving gear were preparing to go in. Preparing to rescue a survivor. Preparing to look for remains. When suddenly the water broke again.

Up came Fin, behind him he dragged an unconscious Olivia. Cragen couldn't help the cheer that erupted from deep within him. However, both Cragen and Munch's face paled as they watched the scene unfold before them. Olivia's face was deathly pale, even from a distance they could tell she wasn't moving. Fin only looked a little better, coughing as he dragged her through the water.

Cragen and Munch didn't realise when they had ran towards Fin and Olivia. Not until Munch scooped Olivia from the water, and Cragen helped to haul Fin out. Fin brushed off the offers of help, when he saw Munch on the floor over Olivia, he was aware that paramedics were running towards them, but he couldn't drag his eyes away from the fact that munch was frantically pumping Olivia's chest. Cragen had his arm around Fin. Both men had tears in their eyes. They watched as paramedics brushed Munch away, they watched as first they carried on with CPR, then shocked her. All the while they pumping oxygen into her.

Still they watched as the lead paramedics face drained of hope.

_Come on Olivia._

Munch sunk to his knees, praying.

_Don't give up now baby girl._

Fin shook as his stared unblinking at Olivia's form.

_Don't let him beat you. You're better than this._

Cragen cried as he watched his best detective, his daughter fight fir her life.

_You can do it. Fight back Olivia, I know you can._

All three men cried as they watched the paramedic in charge stand and shake his head. Cragen screamed. Fin cried. Munch stared. This couldn't be happening.

They didn't have to mourn long. Suddenly, all of her own accord, Olivia started to cough. Unconsciously she took big gasping breaths between each bloodied, waterlogged cough. Cragen punched the air, releasing Fin as the man sunk to the ground in relief. Munch ran after Olivia as she was boarded into an already screaming ambulance. Fin was now forced to seek medical attention. Cragen, Cragen had to clear up this mess.

He knew which piece of dirt to start with first. He walked over to the squad car Elliot was in, punching him square in the face.

**Is Olivia going to be okay? Will she still be able to work? What's going to happen to Elliot? Anyway, what do you guys think? Please review with any opinions, or criticisms. What do you want to happen to Elliot. Do you even want him to live?**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own characters.**

**Chapter 20**

It was like a scene out of a nightmare. Watching. Watching and being helpless to do anything. Casey stood at the doors looking in towards Olivia. She was on her own. Cragen was at the precinct sorting out Elliot, and Munch had gone to see Fin. Alex was fetching coffee. She couldn't drag her eyes away from the form she had to force herself to believe was Olivia. So pale. So helpless. Hating the fact that she was here again, waiting to see if her best friend would survive, Casey let the tears fall. Hugging herself she watched as doctors buzzed around Olivia, inserting needles and tubes into every inch of her skin. She could see the monitors measuring her racing heart, she saw the doctors concern as Olivia's blood pressure rose, she watched as Olivia fought for her life.

Casey jumped as she felt someone touch her shoulders, a coffee was placed into her hands and she looked up to see Alex attempting to smile at her. It came more as a grimace. The two women stood together, silent. They watched in horror as the doctors placed Olivia onto a ventilator, both knowing that it meant she was struggling on her own. Hearing a soothing voice they _turned_ around to see a nurse. Concern was etched upon her face as she told the two women to go and rest, and to let the doctors help Olivia now. The two women barely registered, answering in a sombre tone of simply '_okay_'.

They hated to turn their backs upon their friend. They had no choice. The worse thing about this was that a few months ago neither of this had seen it coming. Especially in the form of Elliot.

XXXX

Elliot let his head fall into his hands, he was on the wrong side of the interrogation table. His wrists had been cuffed together. Cragen meant business. Elliot looked up at the glass, he could sense eyes following him, asking him why. That question came all to soon as the door was opened and a figure stood across from him. Elliot knew it was Cragen. He didn't even look up.

"Why d'you do it Elliot?" Cragen started. Elliot didn't bother to answer.

"Is she okay?" He questioned.

"No Elliot. Just don't. Don't you dare ask if she's okay, you don't have the right to care anymore." Cragen whispered

Elliot looked up. He couldn't bring himself to look into the mans eyes, he could tell they were full of tears. His whole life was crumbling around him. His family was gone, his job, his best friend. Where did it all go wrong?

"Please Cap'n. I just need to know she's okay." Elliot mumbled, staring at the man.

"She's dead Elliot"

XXXX

Cragen didn't know what had made him say it, made him lie. He knew it would only cause trouble, but deep down he wanted Elliot to feel the same way he did. Empty.

Now he was at the hospital. He had just visited a more than forlorn Fin, and was now on his way to the family waiting room. His heart broke as he pushed open the food to see everyone there, Casey, Alex, Munch, Melinda, Lisa, and to his surprise someone had managed to find Simon. He looked around at this group of people and his heart bubbled with pride at their close protectiveness, but it still splintered as to the fact that they were sitting here again. Waiting.

They didn't have to wait long, when suddenly a doctor walked in. He looked tired, worn, a worrying blood stain on his white clothing, however he managed to produce a weak smile towards the squad.

"Miss Benson is stable, and comfortable, that's all we can do for now." He sighed. Avoiding the pleasantries he knew they didn't want.

"What do you mean for now?" Questioned Munch.

"Miss benson is a very poorly woman, she is in a coma, and she currently can't breath on her own." He answered.

"Well, can we see her?" Alex begged.

"You all can, it's not normal procedure but you won't be able to go into her room anyway."

He continued knowing they would ask why.

" Olivia has septicaemia, an infection of the blood. It's what is causing the respiratory problems. It has also had a huge effect on her immune system, meaning a minor infection could be fatal. She is malnourished and dehydrated, as well as having two broken ribs and a fractured nose. Lack of sunlight has caused her to be severely jaundice and we are keeping her in a coma to help her body fight the infection. If any of you carrying damaging bacteria it could be fatal for Olivia."

The squad just nodded. All of them looked near tears, so the doctor simply ordered them to follow. He lead them up to I.C.U and walked them to the end of the silent corridor, leaving them at a window.

They all just stared for a minute. They could hardly see Olivia thanks to the wires and respirator. What they could see broke their hearts. Olivia looked pale under the blue lights, making the bruising appear worse. The bedding swamped her, making her look so small, so vulnerable...

sorry about the delay. Just started a new school and all that crap. Chapters should be up every two days. It's nearly finished but there are still some problems regarding the trial. Please review with any ideas, and I need ideas for my next SVU fanfic...


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own people . Everything belongs to dick wolf and NBC**

**Chapter 21**

The squad had started up a vigil. They took shifts, a few at the hospital, a few resting at home, only swapping every few hours. None of them could really sleep anyway. They still weren't allowed to see olivia, not properly. They needed to hold her, to tell her it was going to be okay, to take away the pain, and the machinery. Not just for Olivia's sake, but for theirs. They needed to end this as quickly as possible. However much they wished, nothing happened.

Now it was an endless wait of crappy coffee, harsh smells, and bright lights. Fin had been ordered home to rest, but that didn't stop the calls every half an hour. Slowly the squad had gotten used to the uncomfortable chairs. They had gotten used to the disappointment after once again Olivia's doctor came in to tell them that nothing had changed, that the bacteria was still ravaging her body. They had gotten used to the heartbreak.

They barely noticed Cragen walk in, only forcing there weary heads to rise as he began to speak.

"Elliot's at central booking. He says he's sorry."

Cragen looked around at the disgust that rose in his squads eyes. He could read them like a book, he knew sorry meant nothing to them. Sighing, Cragen sat down. Oddly everything was quiet, they had no new cases. Nothing. It was as if news of Olivia's illness had halted crime. Or maybe he just didn't see it anymore, and that his cases were being loaded onto another unit temporarily. Honestly, he didn't really care.

As these thoughts ran through his head the door was pushed open. Olivia's doctor stepped in, his head held high at the thought of bearing good news.

"Detective Benson's condition hasn't changed, but at this stage we don't expect it too. The good news however is that one of you can go in and see her."

The squad looked round at each other. They all wanted to be the one that held Olivia's hand. That told her it was going to be okay. Cragen was the first to volunteer himself out, along with Melinda and Lisa on the pretence that they didn't know Olivia well. Fin agreed it was a bad idea because his health still wasn't so good. Munch and Casey simply relinquished themselves because of the desperate look in Alex's eyes.

The doctor nodded in agreement, before leading them up. He told the rest of the squad that they could watch in. Walking along they still couldn't prepare themselves for the sight of Olivia. She hadn't changed, paleness still ruled her, silence consumed her body. Alex pushed the door open to go in, but was stopped by the doctor. He ordered her to take of all her jewellery, earrings, necklaces, everything. Next came her glasses and shoes. She felt like a criminal. Taking her over to a huge sink the doctor watched her scrub her hands clean. Afterwards came a large plastic overall, a mask, gloves, and even a hair net. Alex didn't care.

Pushing open the door again, she held her breath. She walked slowly towards Olivia as if not to wake her. Her hand brushed the bed, almost up afraid to take up Olivia's hand. When she did, even the fact that it was ice cold didn't scare her. This was Olivia. Her touch proving her reality. Her hand proving her existence. And the gentle rise and fall of her chest proof of life. Alex clutched Olivia's hand, whispering encouragements. Telling her it was all going to be okay. And now. Deep down. Alex thought it was.

Outside the squad had watched with tears in their eyes. They were relieved by the fact that Olivia was no longer alone. The peace was soon shattered by the harsh ring of Casey's phone. Softened by her quick answer of "Novak".

After the call had finished Casey looked grave. She turned to the squad and looked at them.

"I've got to go. Elliot arraignment."

XXXX

"Docket ending 59871. People of New York against Elliot stabler."

"How does the defence plead?" Questioned the judge.

"Not guilty your honour." Elliot whispered.

Casey couldn't quite believe what she had heard.

"The people request that bail is refused your honour." Casey seethed

"On what grounds?" Questioned the judge.

"The defendant is a serious flight risk with no ties to the community, he is also considered a danger." Casey raged.

"My client is mentally unstable, he has no money and his home and family are here in New York. He is certainly not a flight risk." Elliot's attorney rattled.

Casey was furious. She swallowed her rage and stayed silent.

"If your client is pleading innocent by reason of insanity Mr Langang, I am ordering him to be kept in a secure mental unit until trial." The judge glared.

Elliot's defence looked pissed. He had lost this time, but he still had one more trick left.

"The defence ask that Miss Novak be revoked of her role, due to her personal involvement and vendetta against my client, whilst we are here the defence asks that Miss Alex Cabot does not replace her for the same reason."

Knowing the case and the people involved the judge simply nodded. Arraignment was over.

Please review! Tell me what you think and any ideas and criticism you might have. Don't forget I'm needing ideas for my next svu fanfic.


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I Own nothing, all characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC**

**Chapter 22**

Casey left the courtroom in a fit or rage. This was not happening. She didn't remember a time that she had ever felt so angry. Rage bubbled inside of her. Fisting the wall, a growl of annoyance escaped her, turning into a muffled sob. Ignoring the stares, Casey kept her forehead pressed to the wall, breathing slowly, trying to calm herself. She only stopped when she felt the familiar presence of eyes bore into the back of her. Turning around, she saw Elliot being led away. He stared at her. Casey simply stared back. Shaking her head. Until his courage left him and he looked away. Slowly he was paraded through the doors. His head hung in defeat.

XXXX

Walking into the hospital with her head held high Casey looked at everyone. Questions grew in their eyes. Partly about arraignment and partly about the smudge of blood on her knuckles, which they chose to ignore. She began to Speak, telling them that Elliot was being taken to a prison psychiatric ward. Not letting them celebrate for too long, she told them that she had been forced to step down. Everyone's stares turned to Alex, silently asking if she would represent Olivia. Once again Casey halted them, telling them that Alex too had been recused. It was like a bomb going off. It got worse when she told them that Elliot had plead not guilty.

Fear rose in everyone. Fears for Olivia. Fears for her future. They were firmly extinguished as Cragen ran in.

"Olivia's coughing up the ventilator." He breathed.

No further explanation was needed. The squad scrambled towards the I.C.U. They watched horrified as doctors swarmed around Olivia. She seemed to be choking on the tubes placed in her throat and doctors rushed to remove them. All the while Olivia stayed unconscious. Which the squad were semi glad of. The scene before them looked terrifying. After a while most of the tubing was removed. Olivia's body slumped on the bed, exhausted. Cragen had never seen a sleeping person look so tired. Eventually a doctor walked out. He breathed a warm, fatigued smile towards them.

"That's one hell of a fighter you guys have. Her progress has exceeded everything we thought. She has only been on the ventilator for two days, and now all signs show she should be awake by tomorrow." He grinned.

It was like a cloud had been lifted. The air of darkness had disappeared, and was now replaced by a smattering of sunlight on all that had transpired. For the first time in weeks the squad breathed properly.

XXXX

Kind eyes,

Slight smile,

All I need,

To feel relief.

Calculating,

Mending,

And always thinking

How to feel relief.

Warmth encircling,

Demons run,

Bliss remains,

Relief floods me.

**Sorry it so short. I felt it was all that was needed for now. I hope you are all enjoying it! Please review with any comments, and I am desperate for new ideas for my next SVU fanfic (help)**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I own nada.**

**Chapter 23**

The next few hours passed slowly. Most of the squad had been force to return to work. Fin took the most out of his sick time and stayed at the hospital with Casey and Alex, who both now had no work. The made polite small talk, but most of the time kept silent. Thoughts raced through each of their heads. Thoughts that couldn't be stopped until Olivia was firmly back.

The doctor had come in to tell them that they would be told when Olivia's brain activity started to increase. Only then would they be allowed in her room, but not until they had had a thorough clean. Now they waited, anxious, tired, and alone.

Casey sat with her forehead pressed against the window. Outside in the small park that the hospital owned it was clear fall had begun. On every inch of the ground lay piles of smouldering leaves. Everything looked so bright. So full of life. So hopeful. A bright watery sun forced itself through the remaining leaves on the trees. It was as if the earth was being cleaned as tumbling winds swirled the debris away. The air was cool, crisp, and cold enough to make your cheeks glow. Yet not cold enough for a coat. Casey loved it.

Fin however was staring at something else, on the wall of the room was a quote.

"You've got to kick fear in the side, because the payoff is huge."

-M.H

He had no idea who M.H was, but he realised how true this statement was. He had seen so many victims, innocent people who were so terrified, so terrified that they thought they could never go on. Then he watched them grow, and thrive, and do something marvellous with their lives, just like Olivia had. He realised that what had scared him so much in the recent weeks was the fact that Olivia had never given up. It scared him because he realised she was always so strong, and now, here in hospital she wasn't. Fin was going to help change that.

On the far side of the room sat Alex, she wasn't looking at anything except the back of her eyelids. She wasn't asleep. How could she be? Thoughts raced through her mind by the second. Some about Olivia, some of the guilt she had, but most about Elliot. The clearest one in her mind was that she wanted him to pay, that she would never forgive him, however other memories surfaced too. She remembered Olivia and Elliot laughing at Munch as he flirted with Fin. She remembered the time when Elliot protected Olivia. Kept her safe from people like Richard White, no matter how much she had hated it. Finally her memory went back to the time when he told her everything was going to be alright, as she was place in witness protection. The last one made her want to cry.

The three of them jumped slightly as the door was pushed open. It revealed a doctor, who told them that Olivia was waking up. The three glanced at each other, almost nervously. It was now or never. Quickly they were led up to her room, going through the same process of scrubbing as Alex previously had. This time the mask were left, so as not to frighten Olivia, who would undoubtably be confused. Pushing the door open, Fin walked to the opposite side of Olivia. Casey sat on the edge of the bed her hand resting on Liv's leg. Taking a place in the seat next to Olivia, Alex held her hand gently.

Alex started to talk softly.

"Hey Liv. It's Alex. Fin and Casey are here as well. We need you to wake up sweetie. Fins going mad without you here to kick his ass. So are half the rest of the squad. Lisa has no idea what she's doing without you. Can you here me Livia? Squeeze my hand if you can..."

"Please come back Liv." She pleaded.

Her face looked triumphant as suddenly her hand was squeezed. Staring at Olivia, Casey let out a muffled cry of joy as Olivia's eyes fluttered open.

XXXX

Olivia had no idea who these people were, but they were being so kind. She felt safe among them. Glancing round she wondered why they were all staring at her. Trying to look up she gasped in pain as her head thundered. The women sat next to her now held a death grip on her hand, whilst the man came over and gave her something to drink. She sipped gladly, her throat dry. Looking around, she gathered they were waiting for her to speak. Intending to say something reassuring, or grateful she felt like kicking herself as the words "Who are you?" Came tumbling out.

**Sorry that once again it's so short. Please keep readin and review and I'm getting desperate for new SVU fanfic ideas!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I own nothing apart from my own work.**

**Chapter 24**

Casey had never felt so angry in her entire life. Her best friend couldn't remember who she was, what she stood for. Worst of all it wasn't her getting the pleasure of putting the bastard who did this to her in jail. After Olivia had woken up and asked the one question Casey was dreading, she had left the room. Tears had threatened to appear and she didn't want anyone to see, especially not Liv. Now she stood on the sidewalk, the autumn beauty she had so recently seen now gone. Replaced with the ominous heavy air of winter. She pulled her coat up around her and started walking. She wasn't going to cry. Not here.

Back in Olivia's room the doctor had come in. He had explained why she was in hospital, what had happened, but not who had put her there. Fin saw the bright determination in Olivia's eyes as she looked to him and demanded to know who had done this to her. A strangled gasp escaped her as he revealed it was Elliot. She remembered.

Alex had briefly left the room. She was undeterred by Olivia's memory loss, but she had to tell Cragen. He answered on the first ring, desperate. Alex heard a sort of pleading in his voice that she had never heard before. She thought about not telling him, not lying, but just not telling him either, or revealing anything. It didn't take her long to realise Cragen needed her to be straight with him. Deep down she wanted him to react in some way, the silence on the other end of the phone was deafening. Eventually he sighed and mumbled something about being on his way, but she stopped him.

"Olivia doesn't remember much." she sighed

After a long pause he replied.

"I'll be there soon." Cragen breathed back

"You don't have to say anything, I understand." Alex breathed, before putting down the phone.

Her hand placed on the door to Olivia's room, Alex took a deep breath. She knew she was going to have to explain everything to Olivia, and she knew it wasn't going to be easy, but deep down she also knew after everything Olivia had been through, she was going to be okay. Pushing open the door, she smiled.

"Hey Liv." she smiled

"Hey... Alex." Olivia struggled back

"So you remember me. Huh?" Alex grinned.

"Kinda. Fin has, um clarified a few things. I know who I am, my job, and snippets here and there, but matching the names to faces is a trouble. The past few moths are a blur." Olivia rasped.

It was clear that those mere few words had tired Olivia, she placed her head on the pillow and closed her eyes. Knowing what was coming, she prepared herself.

"Liv, you remember Elliot?" Fin asked

Olivia didn't open her eyes or speak, just nodded.

"You wanna know what happened?"

She nodded again.

"He was roughing you up, started small like all these creeps do. He attacked you in an alley, you were gonna kick his ass but you were too kind for your own good, even after he attacked you up in the cribs. You got him into rehab. We found that much out. He relapsed, threw you into Cragens window. We almost lost you Liv. They flew you to Washington. You stayed strong. We looked for Elliot for months. You helped when you came back to work, but he was sending you stuff. Flowers. He came back, kidnapped you, beat you, and tossed you into the water at Arthur kill dock yard. You were ill anyway. Almost died again...

I'm sorry liv." Fin sighed.

"Me too" she whispered.

Olivia just lay in her bed, her eyes were still closed. This was painful but she was fed up. Fed up of being the victim, fed up of being in hospital again, fed up of letting him beat her. She nearly died at his hands. The man she cared about. This time it had gone too far. She was going to fight back. Even if it was the last thing she did. She was Olivia Benson, and if she was going to let this beat then she might as well give her papers in now, and _boy_ was she far from ready to retire. So she realised she had only one option left, fight.

Opening her eyes she smiled at Alex and Fin. She knew who they were and that they cared, even if the memories were fuzzed. She knew who she was and that she wasn't alone. Suddenly her door was pushed open. Her eyes flashed in recognition, Cragen.

"Morning Cap'n." She wheezed.

For a moment Cragen was thrown off his game. He wasn't expecting Liv to remember him, but evidently the memory loss was only short term. Most importantly, although she looked tired and ill, she was smiling. That was all that mattered.

"Morning Liv." He smiled back.

XXXX

Alex had called Casey, and told her in a relative sort of way that she thought Olivia was going to get better even if it almost killed her in the process. With her mind cleared slightly. she now had only one purpose. Justice.

She picked up her phone and dialled. After three rings it was answered.

"Langan" said the voice

"Hi, it's Casey" she spoke "I need your help."

**Sorry I haven't updated in forever (schools been hectic). So I've decided to only update during holidays. I will basically write a story everytime school is out, and as its Xmas I will be updating this story daily. Hope you enjoyed this and please R&amp;R with any ideas, criticisms ect. Stay tuned for the trial!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own characters and words**

**Chapter 25**

It was a long and slow recovery, but Olivia hid the bruises well. She grimaced as the doctor came in to insert yet another drip, but she bit down on her words and forced a smile. She had seen almost everyone. Her brother had come in, held her, and she was grateful for that. She had seen Casey again, who wasn't upset when at first Olivia didn't recognise her. It was odd that the person she remembered best was Lisa. However, even if she couldn't quite remember snippets of information, Olivia felt safe amongst these people, that alone worked better than any medicine the doctors gave her.

After about a week the infection had cleared, Olivia had only been in hospital for a period of two weeks altogether, but doctors were astounded by her progress at having beaten a potentially deadly disease. She was still a little weak and breathless, but there was a spark in her eyes that had not been seen for months. Last night a doctor had come in and asked everyone to leave to let Olivia rest. Now in the quiet, watery daylight Olivia thought it was time to at least try and move. She gripped the side of the bed and pulled herself up. Slowly she swung her legs round and placed her bare feet on the cold floor of the hospital. Breathing deep, she stood up. At first the room began to spin, she thought she was going to fall, but the feeling passed and she felt better for it. Suddenly a voice behind her made her jump.

"You remind of a seventy year old" it laughed.

Olivia turned round to see Fin grinning at her.

"Shut up." She laughed "And don't just stand there, give me a hand."

"With what?" Fin questioned.

"I want to see the view." She replied.

Fin walked round to her and she placed one arm over his shoulders. Slowly at first she limped, swaying slightly, but gradually each step became stronger. She reached for the window ledge and placed her hands on it for support. Her old injuries from when Elliot had threw her into Cragens window had been aggravated by this recent assault, but she was fighting it.

Looking out over the city an odd sense of calm shrouded her. The city was alive and moving, in the weak early morning daylight and the dew that had washed everything in view, it almost looked quaint, pretty. She saw young children clutching the hands of someone who cared, skipping to school. People catching cabs. Eating bagels. Going to work . Walking their dogs. She had always loved the hustle and bustle of people living, just carrying on with their lives. She basked in the sheer normality of it, and it made her feel human again. She sighed softly. Almost at peace, apart from one thing.

"I don't think I can do this Fin" she breathed.

"Do what?" He asked

"Fight against him, testify against him." She sighed.

"Liv, you don't have to testify, they have a strong enough case without you." He told her.

"It's not just that Fin, I don't want him to go to jail. I want him to get help, that's all I've ever wanted." Liv fought back.

"Listen Liv. You have to kick fear in the side... Because the payoff is huge." Fin breathed, remembering the quote in the waiting room.

"Sounds like something I'd say." Olivia laughed.

"You can't let him beat you. You have to get justice, and you of all people know that this is the only way to truly get better." Fin sighed "don't let this beat you."

Olivia just turned and looked at Fin. Her eyes were glassy with tears and she looked so tired. It broke Fins heart a little. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Closing her mouth abruptly, she shook her head. Every time she took a step forward, she was dragged five steps back. Looking out over the city once again, she stared unblinkingly before whispering something hardly legible to Fin, so quiet that a gentle breeze would have lifted it out of range. The sheer softness of the whisper, told Fin that although she was still fighting, still determined, she was losing. Despite all this, it was the simplicity of the words that really drove the knife in.

"I don't know what to do."

XXXX

Casey sat alone in her office, part of her felt guilty at not being there for Liv, yet this was her way of helping her. By getting justice for her. She wasn't meant to be fighting her case, but in a way this was Casey's way of coping with Elliot's betrayal. She had rung Langan and asked him to prosecute Elliot for them. Admittedly she hated the jerk, but only because he normally fought for the defence. Having said this she knew he was a damn good lawyer, and that he could keep things under wrap if needed. He was also faithful to his client and it did help that he couldn't stand the guts of Elliot Stabler. They had been in constant contact with updates, and tactics. There was no way Elliot was getting away with this.

They were going for everything. Kidnapping in the first degree, which could get him 20 years on its own. Also they were charging him with two counts of aggravated assault upon a police officer, and obviously attempted murder in the second degree. The anger Casey felt meant that she and Langan were going to fight for the sentences to run consecutively, however she was expecting a fight back and knew that whatever scumbag Elliot hired would ask for them to be run concurrently.

Suddenly she was pulled from her thoughts by a knock on the door. Before she had even allowed access Lionel Granger stepped through it.

_'Shit.' _ She thought. _'I really hope this prick isn't Elliot's defence attorney.'_

This was the guy that had accused Olivia of murdering a sexual sadist who had forced women to marry him after keeping them in a dungeon and raping them for three months. Although Olivia kind of wished it had been her, it definitely wasn't.

"Lionel what is scum like you doing on the good sides home turf? Finally seen the error of your ways?" Casey remarked.

"Pleasant as always I see Casey." Lionel smiled sickeningly "I just came to deliver you this, I'm glad to have another fine opportunity to beat you guys again in court, this time over one of you own."

He plopped an ominous looking fold of papers on the table in front of Casey. It read motion to sever all allegations, and was regarding Elliot. She was pissed.

"On what grounds?" She seethed

"My client was mentally unstable. An alcoholic who had lost everything. Even you own psychiatrist said my client had suffered a complete psychotic breakdown, and may not have even been aware of his actions." Lionel reeled.

"This is a load of bull, and you know it Granger. Your saying Elliot was mentally unstable every time he abused Detective Benson, even on several different occasions? Or just the time when he was completely sober and kidnapped her?" Casey half yelled sarcastically "Why are you even giving this to me? It's you fault I was recused."

"I know Langan will be keeping you in the loop anyway, I just wanted to see your reaction myself. I'm sure I will be seeing you in the courtroom." he grinned back at her.

Casey was beyond pissed. She yanked on her coat before flying out of her office. She was going to see the man who had potentially freed Elliot, and boy was she going to give him a hard time about it. Flying into George Huang's office she threw the motion at him.

"You working for the defence now? I didn't realise that you had taken up a new career path." She seethed.

Huang just looked at the motion, then at Casey.

"How did you even get this." He spoke calmly.

"That doesn't matter, why did you give them a defence?" Casey demanded

"I didn't have a choice, Langan ordered me to do a psychiatric evaluation." Huang breathed

"Why would he do that?" Casey questioned, slightly calmer now.

"So the defence couldn't surprise us, and claim we held back evidence about Elliot's mental state." Huang answered.

Casey exhaled slowly. She knew it was probably best that all evidence was given on Elliot's mental stability, in order to prevent a future mistrial. It still didn't wouldn't make it much easier, for Liv especially. She closed her eyes and ran her fingers threw her hair.

_'We may not win this trial, but I'm sure gonna fight'_ she thought.

**So opinions? Please leave a review about anything and stay tuned, the trial looms...**


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own words.**

**Chapter 26**

Slowly but surely Olivia was getting better. With each passing day she became stronger, more determined. The whole squad was behind her, visiting and showing there support. They couldn't offer what she was looking for. Olivia wanted a way out for everyone. She didn't want to hurt Elliot, but help him. After all he had done he was still the man that had once been her best friend and had protected her. All this support and she had never felt more alone.

1PP was all over the case. Painting Elliot as the scum they had always wanted too. She couldn't bear to read the papers because every other day it was about the trial, and about how she let herself become the victim. Olivia was now almost completely better, the bruises had faded, and the scars would soon, but the press wouldn't let her forget the past. She was on mild pain relief and with this in mind she decided now was the time to ask for the discharge papers.

She winced as she pulled on her clothes. Hissing slightly at the paint it caused. Doctors had wanted her to stay in longer, and when she had refused they tried to offer her a walking stick, which naturally hadn't gone down well. Her limp was only slight and each day it was improving anyway.

She left her hospital room and walked down the corridor thanking the nurses and doctors for their help on her way. As she left the hospital she shivered at the cold night air that hit her, pulling up her jacket she began to walk. It wasn't late, only around sixish. The streets were still busy, but as always the people of New York kept their heads down and ignored everyone. Olivia however decided to look up, she examined the way that people didn't care for one another, barging into each other, swearing under their breath. She hated it. Her job made her see the worst in people, always suspicious. She had often longed for the unsuspicious, naive mindset of so many of the population. To not know of or understand the horrors that people could inflict. However much she tried she saw every other man as a perp, and every other women a victim. She hated the fact that a job that could be so rewarding, had indoctrinated her into believing the worse.

The night air grew colder, she was almost at her apartment building and she wondered what had happened to the forty minute walk, her mind had been so distracted. Stopping outside she looked up to the night sky. She did this often, hoping that something would have changed, that pollution would have disappeared overnight and that maybe she would be able to see the stars. As usual nothing had changed and a blank sky stared back at her. She was about to step inside when she decided on something all in an instant. She picked up her cell and dialled.

"Hey Casey." She sighed into the phone.

"Hey Liv. What's up." Casey questioned back.

"I thought it was about time you told me what fine lawyer the Detectives Union is funding for me." Olivia laughed.

"Your not going to like this much Liv..." Casey paused "But it's Langan."

"Why him? I thought he only fought for the defence. Has he decided he doesn't want to rot in hell?" Olivia said vexed

"Because I requested him, and before you get mad you should know that he's a damn good lawyer." Casey fought.

Olivia just laughed, she wasn't annoyed at Casey. She said goodbye and hung up. Now, there was just one more issue she had to deal with.

XXXX

Thirty minutes later she arrived. She slammed the cab door behind and stared up at the ominous grey building. She knew he would still be here, cramming tactics for the start of trial which was now only two days away. She pushed open the heavy door and stepped inside out of the cold. Walking up to the desk a disapproving looking receptionist asked if she had an appointment, tutting when Olivia replied no. The receptionist rang up, before telling Olivia that his office was on the third floor. Stepping into the shiny metal lift, Olivia pressed the button, it ran along smoothly before depositing her onto the third floor.

Walking along the corridor she kept an eye out for his office. She lifted her hand up to knock when she reached it, before hesitating slightly. Convincing herself, she knocked loudly and waited for his conformation. Stepping into his office, he didn't even look up from whatever he was scrawling before confirming he already knew why she was there.

"No. Miss Benson."

She just looked at him in confusion. Her lack of response forced him to put his pen down and look up. Seeing her confusion he spoke again.

"I know why you here and my answer is no."

Olivia was about to speak when Langan continued.

"I don't care about how perfect he used to be, or that he was struggling. What he did to you was one of the most despicable crimes and I'm not about to let him get away with it. He deserves to be punished Olivia, so you can move on and get on your life. I'm certainly not going to drop the charges or even consider a deal. Even if I could, it's too late now."

Olivia just stood there shocked, she couldn't quite believe what Langan had said or that he had even known what she had wanted. She couldn't grasp the fact that he cared so much. He looked at her and sighed, waiting for her to speak. When she finally did, it came out broken, and shaky.

"Please." She sighed. "Too many people have been hurt already."

**Next chapter the trial begins... Please review with any comments!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: If you have seen it on SVU it isn't mine **

**Chapter 27**

Olivia breathed hard. Today was the day of the trial, and she wasn't sure how well she would cope with it. She didn't have to testify. They had all the evidence they needed. Langan had photographic evidence of her injuries, her statement and the rest of the squad would testify to what they saw, as well as her doctor. They were all quietly confident they were going to win, but Olivia didn't want to win. It wasn't a competition. She wanted Elliot to get help, and even though the whole trial was about her, nobody was listening to what she wanted. This frustration at being ignored was the only thing keeping her going.

She sighed as she pulled herself out of bed and into the shower. Her body ached and the hot water stung at her still healing flesh. She stepped out into the cold and pulled on her outfit. Not bothering with makeup she blow dried her hair and stood up, grimacing as she looked in the mirror. She had never looked so rough in her life. What she was unaware of was the fact that in a secure mental facility a few miles away Elliot was thinking the exact same thing as she was, as he prepared for his day in court.

Trying to shake away her headache she drank her coffee within seconds before leaving. Fin was waiting outside to drive her as she still couldn't drive herself. They didn't really speak but Fin knew not to push at her because she was already stressed. When they reached the courtroom he went to open her door, but instead was told quite firmly that she didn't need babysitting.

Walking into the courthouse, Olivia walked straight past her friends and colleagues, ignoring them. She headed straight for the bathroom. Standing in front of the big mirrors she took some deep breaths to try and gain some composure. She jumped as she saw judge Donnelly standing behind her. Watching.

"Olivia. How are you?" She said "oh and don't mention anything about the case as I'm your judge and we wouldn't want a mistrial before we had even begun now would we?"

Olivia just sighed

"However" the judge continued "If you were to talk to me hypothetically, maybe I could help you out."

Olivia paused.

"Hypothetically speaking." Olivia started "Say if someone I loved were to have harmed me and were now being punished what could I do to stop their trial and get them help?" She asked

"That would depend on many things Olivia, such as their state of mind and if you wanted to go forward with pressing charges." The judge stated.

"Hypothetically If the defendant was mentally unstable at the time and I wanted to stop the trial what would you suggest?" Olivia questioned

"Hope for a very nice judge who would let you make a last minute victim impact statement after you make a spontaneous outburst during court." Elizabeth replied with a gleam in her eye.

Olivia smiled at her before the judge left the room. As the judge left, Lisa popped her head into the room to tell her court was about to come into session and that they needed to be seated. Olivia nodded at her, before heading towards the courtroom along with the rest of the squad and filing into the pew like benches.

Judge Donnelly banged her gavel down and court was in session. First port of call was opening arguments. Langan stood up and cleared his throat.

"We are here today not because we want to be, but because we have to be. We have to be here to protect one women and a whole community from an officer of the law. An officer in whom we were asked to entrust our lives to. We have to be here because nobody else was when a real officer was hurt and now we have to get justice. Justice for anyone who has suffered at the hands of domestic violence because, if you find the defendant guilty, you will tell everyone who is suffering now, and everyone who will suffer in future, that nobody is above the law. I'm sure you will hear a lot of evidence as to the defendants state of mind, and how it wasn't his fault. But isn't that what every abuser says? It wasn't my fault. Your job is to see the truth. To seek the truth. To understand the harsh reality of what happened. Then, your job is to serve justice and protect yourselves and the people around you, as well as the real victims. Thank you." Langan finished.

Olivia grimaced. Now it was time to hear what courtroom grovel Lionel granger had come up with. Lionel stood up, and begun to clap slowly, sarcastically.

"Very good." He sneered "so good in fact that I almost fell for it, but now it's time for the truth. Yes, Ms Benson was injured, and I'll agree quite badly, but not by my client. It was in fact the alcohol and depression that my client had fallen to that did the damage. So if you want put the bartender who served him this poison behind bars, or even the company that makes it, go ahead. Heck if you like you can try to send the clinical illness that drove him to commit these crimes to jail. But you'll fail. Just like the prosecution will fail to prove that this was all done intentionally. Detective stabler did not want to hurt Ms Benson. He loved her. And as you can see it is my client who has suffered whilst Ms Benson continues with her life. My client is simply guilty of caring too much. Don't find him guilty of what he couldn't control, give him help and a chance to regain his life. Don't fall for the lies that could ruin a mans life.

Olivia felt sick. She wanted to help Elliot but what Granger had thrown up was pure bullshit. Eventually it would all be over though, and the right justice would prevail.

**Soooo sorry I haven't been updating. This fanfic is almost finished and I will finish it! Please R&amp;R:)**


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter 28**

Second day of trial

Langan called his first witness. Out on on the stand came Olivia's doctor. She was a tall slim women withe long brown hair. She had an air of professionalism surrounding her along with the sort of attitude that said 'don't mess with me'. She was well educated and had no previous record of any misconduct. The perfect witness. Langan began after introducing her.

"Dr Williams, how long have you been Ms Bensons doctor?"

"Since she finished her last stay in hospital." The doctor replied

"And that was after the defendant had attacked her and thrown her into freezing water. Correct?" He stated

Yes." She replied

"Within the past few months Ms Benson has suffered many injuries at the hands of the defendant. Can you explain what sort of injuries?" He questioned.

"Ms Benson was first admitted with potentially life threatening disease. She had minor cuts and contusions. as well as a few broken ribs and a fractured wrist. However, what was most serious was a bleed on her brain, which ultimately left her in a coma." The doctor reeled of.

"But this wasn't the first time that the defendant had injured her, was it?" Langan interrupted

"No."

"So not only had the defendant been abusing detective Benson but now he had thrown her into a window during a drunken rage." Langan stated. He didn't wait for an reply before moving on.

"What had happened to detective Benson when she had been hospitalised last time?"

"She had been kidnapped, and beaten. As she had not fully recovered from the last attack her immune system was weak and she had developed septicaemia, a form of blood poising. The fact that she had almost drowned had also put severe stress on her lungs." Doctor Williams stated.

Olivia had begun to zone out. She was fed up of hearing that she was the victim and about what had happened time and time again. More witnesses came up, telling the whole world of the demise of once a strong detective. Her. Telling her story. Painting her to be the weak one and Elliot as a monster. Fin told the court how he wished he had stopped it. Cragen said he had expected Elliot for a while. John stated how he had to save her life with CPR. Everyone was telling what they had witnessed, how the felt, and she wanted her turn. She could fell the rage bubbling inside of her as her wandering mind caught snippets of what was going on.

_'Olivia was defenceless'_

_'Elliot is a coward'_

_'Multiple injuries'_

_'She's the victim not him'_

_'Clear example of domestic violence,_

_'Alcohol is no excuse'_

_'He always was an angry cop.'_

_'She has always been to kind for her own good...'_

Olivia couldn't take it any more. She wasn't to kind for her own good, she had tried to help him. Now she had had enough. She was fed up of being told what to do. How to do it. That she was the victim. Nobody was listening to her, so she was going to make them.

"STOP!" She yelled

The whole courtroom was silent for a moment, shocked by her outburst. Someone was tugging at her to sit down. Judge Donnelly made a half hearted attempt to try and silence her, to at least pretend she didn't know what was happening and that it was all partly her doing.

"I want to make a victim impact statement." Olivia declared.

"Ms Benson you realise you are entitled to make a statement but not until the end of the trial. Until then you will have to wait." Donnelly said in a stern, no nonsense tone, but Olivia saw a slight gleam in the judges eye indicating all had gone to plan. Now all she would have to do is wait for the truth to be told.

XXXX

Last day of trial

"You the jury have heard everything that each side has to say. Now you must go away and decided upon a verdict in which you all must agree upon. If you cannot agree a mistrial will be forced. Once you are all in agreement you must write you verdict for each count down which the head juror will then be asked to state out in court. However, before you go detective Benson wishes to make an impact statement." Judge Donnelly declared.

The courtroom was silenced as Olivia stood up and walked to the front. She turned to face the jury before taking a deep breath. She began.

"I'm not asking you to find Elliot Stabler not guilty. I'm here today to ask you something else. I am here to ask you for leniency. I'm here because I don't want to ruin a mans life, I want to help him. This man was once a good cop, but he was a better friend and above all a brilliant father. And that changed because of something out of anyone's hands. He would never have hurt me or his family or his children. Something darker did. Depression. I want to help him beat that depression so he never hurts anyone again. Not to imprison him and let it grow in the dark. He hurt me. Physically and mentally. But I couldn't live with myself if what happened here today only hurt him more than it did me. Thank you."

The courtroom was eerily quiet. It was decision time.

**I hope you enjoyed it. The next chapter is the last and all will finally be revealed along with one more shocking twist... Please drop a review and tell me what you've thought of the story. I'm also in the process of updating my other story just bear with me :)**


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaime: I own nothing **

Chapter 29

The jury had been talking for almost three hours and as time went on everyone became more edgy, but not Olivia. She just sat there, her hands in her lap gently caressing a now cold cup of coffee and her eyes staring off into the distance. Fin had tried to talk to her but all attempts at conversation had been fruitless, so now he sat silently next to her offering a quiet comfort, but still Olivia didn't seem too notice. Her body was stiff and rigid as though she was fighting hard to keep her emotions intact. Everyone presumed she was thinking about the verdict and what it would be. That couldn't have been further from the truth. She was thinking about Elliot. Her side of the courtroom had been filled with supporters, her friends, the squad. Whereas Elliot's held home to only two people. Kathy and Maureen. From what Olivia had heard Kathleen had given up on him and that the twins were scared of him now. That was the true injustice. Elliot looked so small and frail. He had lost weight, and colour, and that confident swing of his arm that he used to have. He had nothing.

She suddenly exhaled loudly as though that were the only way to release her thoughts. Everyone whipped around to see if she was alright and she rolled her eyes before standing up and walking away. Fin tried to follow her but Cragen shook his head and mouthed at him to let her go. They watched as she walked out onto the street and out of sight.

Olivia walked out onto the courtroom steps. The press were swarming about like vultures ready to dive in for their kill. She pulled her coat up around her and lowered her head and as if by magic she wasn't Olivia Benson anymore but just a normal civilian that the press weren't interested in. It was cool outside but the slight breeze helped steady her and bring her back down to reality. She breathed deep, grasping round in the dark expanse of her mind for a sense of normality, her attempts were useless. She stood alone for a while just looking out over the city when suddenly Langan materialised before her and told her the jury was back.

"Just give me a minute." She sighed to Langan who nodded in return.

She turned round to face the city once more before pulling out a white envelope to check that it was safe. In harsh black lettering on the front it read 'Captain Cragen, Acting commander of the Special Victims Unit Manhattan'.

XXXX

Olivia walked quickly back into the now full courtroom and took her seat. Elliot was brought back in and the jury were seated. Judge Donnelly once more banged her gavel and court was in session for the last time.

"Have the jury reached a unanimous verdicts in which you all agreed on?" She questioned as the head juror stood up.

"We have your honour." He stated.

"Do you the jury find the defendant guilty or not guilty of the aggravated assault of a police officer? Donnelly boomed.

"We find the defendant guilty." The juror read

"And on the count of kidnapping in the first degree how do you find?"

"Not guilty by reason of insanity." Was the reply

"And on the final count of attempted murder in the second degree how do you find?"

...

"Not guilty by reason of insanity"

...

The whole courtroom was in silence. Everyone had expected a unanimous verdict of guilty on each charge. Aside from Kathy and Maureen a surge of anger grew towards the verdict. Everyone seemed annoyed that now all Elliot would likely face is two years in a secure psychiatric ward and then regular checkups. Nobody could miss Casey cursing under her breath or Cragen shaking his head at the injustice of it all. Despite all this one person was happy. A tear slipped down her cheek as court was dismissed until sentencing and the people around her presumed that she was beaten by the verdict and tried to offer her some form of comfort, but in reality she had gotten what she had wanted. For her best friend to have a second chance.

Ignoring her friends she raced over to Elliot. He cried as she lent over and cupped her arms around his neck. The cuffs restrained him from hugging back but through both there tears he kept on repeating two single words.

"I'm sorry."

As the guards pulled him from her embrace she shouted two words back to him over the courtroom bustle.

"I know."

XXXX

Olivia stood in the now empty courtroom. She pulled out the envelope once more and hesitated slightly as she turned to leave and rejoin the squad, but she knew she had to do this. Pushing open the doors she saw them, her friends, collected together waiting for her. Cragen smiled as she approached.

"It may not have been the result we wanted." He paused " but I'm glad it's right for you Olivia."

Olivia smiled to him before taking a shaky breath.

"Cap. I was going to get this delivered but that didn't feel right so here." She passed him the envelope before continuing "I'm sorry it had to be this way but I wanted to thank you all in person for making this horrific job the best it can be."

With that she turned and walked away leaving behind a very confused Cragen who tore open the letter. Everyone feared the worst as his face paled.

"Cap what's it say?" Fin hesitated.

Cragen cleared his throat as he read out the letter.

"Captain,

This has not been formalised yet, but I'm taking this chance to alert you of my resignation. After all that has happened I cannot handle this job, or New York. So I'm leaving. I don't know for how long and I don't know what I'm going to do, and that makes me happy. This job has been so rewarding but I have lost any trust in this world and if I am ever to come back I need to find my faith once again. Tell everyone they have been brilliant. I may not ever return but I needed to let you know that one day I might.

Regards

Olivia."

Fin barely stayed to hear the end of the note before racing out. Cragen stood there with the letter and Olivia's badge in his hands and didn't even bother stopping him. Fin ran out of the courthouse and onto the infamous steps whilst scanning them desperately. Then he saw her. She stood still and gazed out over the city as if this may be the last time she saw it. Then it occurred to Fin that it might be. He was about to go after her when he noticed something. Fin had known Olivia for ten years and he always saw her as a sister and still did, yet now he saw a change in her. As she stood there silent on those steps, her long brown hair being lifted by the wind behind her, her sun basking in the bluish gold light of the sinking sun, he realised she was beautiful. He didn't see her in a sexual way but for the first time ever he saw her at peace and free of demons and it made her radiant. She looked so calm and free and happy, and throughout their whole career that is one thing that he had never seen Olivia Benson be. Sure she had been angry or sad or scared or pleased or alone or bored or curious, but never happy. Now as he stood there just watching her, he realised he didn't want to take that away from her by pleading with her to stay. Throughout this whole ordeal he had just wanted to take her pain away and now she had done that for herself and that had taken courage, a courage that Fin certainly wasn't going to stamp on. He wanted her to stay, but his longing for her to be happy outweighed that.

"Olivia!" He shouted walking up to her.

She turned and smiled. Fin smiled back. With this smile Olivia already knew she had his approval but Fin had to be positive she was okay.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked.

"I've never been more sure."

"Well then... I don't know what to say." He sighed.

Olivia laughed. It was sweet and joyous and rang out loud. She could safely say she had never seen Odafin Tutuola speechless but everything was different now.

"I'm probably never coming back Fin. So how about Goodbye?" She whispered.

His eyes were glossy with tears as they looked at each other. He pulled her into a tight hug.

"Goodbye Olivia Benson."

...

"Goodbye Odafin Tutuola."

**OMG I CRIED. Seriously. If anyone is reading this (as I imagine my 'extended breaks' have put people off) please could you drop me a review on this finally finished story and tell me if it's worth a sequel?**


	30. Just a note

Hey guys...

I know I said you were going to have to wait, but the first instalment of the sequel is here! Please go check it out. It's called survivors:)

Thanks,

Ellysia


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